She Likes to Eat the Dirt

Hey, you did it. I'm just mocking it.

Monday, July 31, 2006

Is Lance still likin’ Reichen?

Is Lance Bass ready to say Bye, Bye, Bye to boyfriend Reichen Lehmkuhl just days after publicly coming out to the world? Page Six of the New York Post claims that despite his recent statements about their stable relationship, Lance has grown tired of Reichen’s controlling temperament.

"Reichen forced Lance to come out just at the same time he has a book coming out (Here's What We'll Say) so he could ride the publicity wave," a source tattled to Page Six. "He is a big gay activist and very controlling. He wants Lance to give up his straight friends and do whatever he tells him to."

Not quite the same story Lance shared with People Magazine last week, where he cited ongoing rumors about his sexuality as the main reason he chose to come clean. When questioned about the rumor that it was Reichen who engineered Lance’s coming out, a representative for the singer said, "Lance couldn't be happier with the overwhelming reaction he's getting from all over the world." Or maybe he’s just N’Shock.

Now Wear This.

Whether you think she’s got fashion sense or is fashion dense, you only have a few days left to purchase select items from Tori Spelling’s closet. TMZ.com (http://www.tmz.com/) has revealed that the Lifetime channel’s favorite muse is working with Sharon Yost, the proprietor of a California estate sales business, to weed out what’s unwanted from the actress’s wardrobe. Items currently available on Ebay (http://clothing.search.ebay.com/tori-spelling_Clothing-Shoes-Accessories_W0QQfkrZ1QQfromZR8QQsacatZ11450) include a Marc Jacobs Khaki Cargo jacket, a vintage St. Laurent Rive Gauche tunic, a Miu Miu Eyelet Strapless Peasant Dress and (appropriately) a Camp Beverly Hills Chenille Poncho. Talk about Fantasy Island.

Friday, July 28, 2006

Laguna Beat.

Wanna get a sneak peak at the soundtrack for season three of MTV’s Laguna Beach? Check out the web sites created for Open Air Stereo (http://www.openairstereo.com and http://www.myspace.com/openairstereo), a fairly unknown band that just happens to include guitarist Kelan Hurley and singer Chase Johnson, two of this season’s newest cast members. And while MTV’s bios of the boys don’t provide much more information than that, they do make sure to mention Kelan and Chase’s friendship with a junior named Cameron, notable because this year, he’s slumming with last season’s perpetual doormat Jessica Smith, still unable to extricate herself from the clutches of the LB. Didn't she learn anything from Jason?

Thursday, July 27, 2006

A ploy for Playboy.

Ever the one to be giving career advice, the National Enquirer reports that Kevin Federline allegedly suggested to wife Britney Spears that she bare all for a spread in Playboy Magazine. Seems the bright idea came to Kevin after he spent an evening at Hugh Hefner’s infamous mansion, where he was asked if his wife, hot off the heels of her recent Harper’s Bazaar cover, would be receptive to what was described as a "tasty-but-tasteful" nude cover shot. And, the honorable guy he is, Kevin assured Hef that Britney would be a sure thing, that she was "really into doing nude layouts." So imagine K-Fed’s surprise when he shared the indecent proposal with his wife, who turned him, and Hef, down flat, despite Kevin’s promise to his new Playboy pals. Outrageous.

Where there’s a will, there’s no pay.

Donna Martin’s only worth about a million.

Or so the New York Daily News is claiming. Tori Spelling, daughter of super-producer Aaron, stands to only inherit slightly less than $1 million dollars of his fortune, according to US Weekly Magazine. Aaron’s holdings, it’s worth noting, were estimated at over $500 million at the time of his death in June.

"I'm moving on with my life," Tori reportedly said about her inheritance (or lack thereof) when spotted shopping at a pawnshop, husband Dean McDermott in tow. "I'm just focusing on starting a loving and healthy family with Dean."

Whom I somehow doubt shares Tori’s same level of enthusiasm about their life together, given some are whispering that the couple "doesn't have enough money to buy an apartment, let alone a house." What, no room as the Walsh house?

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

The Shiloh Show.

Madame Tussauds, the world-renowned wax museum, has announced that Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt will be first baby immortalized in wax, says E! Online (http://www.eonline.com/). While baby Shiloh, the photograph, has already been officially unveiled, baby Shiloh, the wax likeness, will make her debut to the public on Wednesday at the museum’s New York location.

Wax baby Shiloh, described as having Angelina’s lips and dainty features, will be resting in a woven basket in an African-inspired nursery. Proud parents Brangelina will be watching over her. Visitors will be able to pose for pictures with the happy family, minus Maddox and Zahara, and a portion of the fee for each photo sold will be donated to UNICEF. Perhaps to help locate Shiloh’s missing wax siblings?

One Tree House.

Now that he’s been assured that One Tree Hill will return for another season, series star Chad Michael Murray is putting down some roots. A posting on Oh No They Didn’t (http://community.livejournal.com/ohnotheydidnt/)
reveals that Chad has just purchased a new home in downtown Wilmington for himself and his fiancée, recent high school graduate Kenzie Dalton. In Touch Weekly says the house, which cost $500,000, has four bedrooms and three bathrooms, which leaves plenty of extra room for his historically wandering eye.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Panto-whine.

International icon David Hasselhoff is reportedly furious with Simon Cowell for luring him into participating in Simon’s newest venture, America’s Got Talent, according to www.contactmusic.com. The reason why? The Hoff, who in the past has himself been known to pass off questionable content for legitimate entertainment (Um, Baywatch? Or how about his entire career as a singer in Germany?), feels that the show, and its format, aren’t up to his high artistic standards.

"This is not my cup of tea. I signed on for one season, and Simon Cowell conned me into it. It's like The Gong Show. I'm trying to get on a sitcom or maybe even my own show, Travels with the Hoff," he said in an interview with Newsweek Magazine.

Prior to joining America’s Got Talent, David had been slated to play Captain Hook in a pantomime performance debuting at the end of the year in London, a role he was forced to give up due to scheduling conflicts. If you consider having to turn down a role as a mime something you struggle with giving up.

Duet well or off you go.

Past-their-prime popstars Cyndi Lauper, Richard Marx, Chaka Khan, Michael Bolton and others will attempt to revive their careers by participating in Fox’s new Celebrity Duets, a talent competition where vocalists are paired with non-singing celebrity contestants for the amusement of a panel of judges, a live audience and viewers at home, says www.starpulse.com. The pairings will change each week, with the singers reshuffled among the competitors, who will work with their celebrity partners to make an appropriate song selection and provide guidance on their performance. Similar to the format of American Idol, viewers will then be responsible for deciding who stays and who goes by voting at the show’s conclusion.

While the celebrity participants have not yet been revealed, Celebrity Duets has divulged that well-reputed composer David Foster will serve as one of the show’s judges. Music to my ears.

Justified?

While Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz have put their acting skills to the test the last few weeks, working hard to convince everyone that they're still crazy in love, others believe that the magic between them is Gone. An insider who tattled to Janet Charlton’s Hollywood column (http://www.janetcharltonshollywood.com/) continues to insist that Justin did indeed attempt to break up with Cameron before heading to Europe for the start of his tour, but was unable to say Bye Bye Bye.

"Cameron FREAKED. She won't let go. She had a wedding to go to in Europe and HAD to have an escort. Justin doesn't want a nasty split - he doesn't know what to do. He really cares for Cameron and can't stand to hurt her, so he went along," the source claims. "He still wants to be free for his tour but he's like a little boy and Cameron is determined to have it HER way. She refuses to cut him loose. Justin had really hoped to start his tour a free man with a clear conscience. If she starts paying him surprise visits on the road, he won't be happy."

Cameron is also reportedly uneasy about the opening act for Justin’s European gig – Promiscuous singer Nelly Furtado, whose recent video Justin makes a cameo in. Pop!

Monday, July 24, 2006

Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh, oh no, no.

More than 2,000 Beyonce fans have no life. Or so it appears, according to a report on www.mtv.com, that claims those fanatics have signed an online petition demanding that the singer reshoot her most recent video, Déjà Vu.

"This video is an underwhelming representation of the talent and quality of previous music video projects of Ms. Knowles," reads the online petition. In addition to what they feel is an overall lack of creativity, fans are also objecting Beyonce’s wardrobe, wild dancing and "unacceptable interactions" with on and offscreen co-star, Jay Z. As if this video could possibly be more confusing than Say My Name. Why the sudden change?

Key West keepsake.

If you were one of the few MTV Real World Key West fans who managed to overlook Tyler’s ego and Paula’s breakdowns long enough to notice, and appreciate, the décor of the house, this may be your lucky day. Star Style (http://www.starstyle.com/Home.aspx), a web site that works to link consumers to popular products they see on television and film, is holding an online auction where you can bid on various items from the Key West manse. Items currently up for grabs (http://www.olx.com/starstyle_listing_page.php?catg=331) include a striped ottoman, a Hatteras armchair and a scalloped glass top dining table. And, as if it wasn’t enough to just own a piece of MTV history, the winning bidder of each of these items will also receive a free book that spent the season (most likely untouched) in the Real World pool room. Too bad it’s not the Burn Book.

Friday, July 21, 2006

Cell out.

Tonya "Train Wreck" Cooley of MTV Real World fame wants you to know what’s she’s thinking. Or so she claims on her myspace page (http://www.myspace.com/RealWorldTonya) where she has sunk to a new low, whoring herself out to a company called the In Crowd (ironic, given Tonya has never been part of such an inner circle on all of the MTV programming she’s participated in). For what I only imagine is a priceless subscription fee, you can text "COOL1" to 94000 and get text messages back from Tonya herself three times a week. And if you tire of listening to Tonya ramble about her breast implants, how everyone hates her and how she’s really NOT crazy, you can choose from other made-for-MTV-Real World personalities including Trishelle from Las Vegas, Johnny from Key West, Melinda from Real Austin or Landon from Philadelphia. Wonder what happens when you text D-E-S-P-E-R-A-T-E?

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Suite Paris.

Paris Hilton, proving once again that she’s incapable of doing anything original (e.g., her role in the remake of House of Wax, her upcoming cover of Rod Stewart’s Do Ya Think I’m Sexy?, etc.) has announced that, like sister Nicky, she plans to launch her own, signature hotel chain. A report in the SF Gate Daily Dish (http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/sfgate/indexd?blogid=7) says that Paris’ first property will be located in Las Vegas, Nevada, on the coast opposite of Nicky’s South Beach bungalow.

"It's going to be lots of fun. My hotels will be like (London hotel) the Sanderson -- a bit more extravagant, but cool. The first one will be in Las Vegas. I love poker and blackjack. And I always win -- I've played it since I was 12, when I won $15,000," Paris said about her good fortune and her latest gamble. Both of which are full of crap(s).

Tour-id.

Capitalizing on the publicity from recently announced audition locations for the next season of American Idol is season five finalist, creepy Constantine Maroulis. The "rocker," per the definition of Ryan Seacrest, has posted his summer tour dates on his web site, www.constantinemaroulisonline.net. And boy, with the line up of open-air venues and festivals he’s got planned, I’m sure this tour will be just the boost that Constantine’s career has been needing. Stops include an all ages show on a Wednesday night in Baltimore, a 4:00 p.m. appearance at the Spiedie Fest Balloon Rally Expo in Binghamton (the day after which you can also catch fellow AI alums Anthony Federov, Kevin Covais and LaToya London) and a visit to Boston’s Paradise Lounge, where in addition to catching Constantine, you can order anything off the menu from 5:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m. for only $4.95. Constantine himself may be extra. Or, depending on the crowd, just another side dish.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Is America’s Most Hated debut ill-fated?

If you’re waiting on the edge of your seat to be the very first one to purchase Kevin Federline’s debut album, it looks like you’re going to have to wait a little longer. A report on www.contactmusic.com claims the aspiring rapper has intentionally pushed back the album’s release date from what was supposed to be this month to later in the year. Why is that, you ask? Because he has no label willing to distribute it? Or no skill to sing about? While both are valid reasons, they aren’t why Kevin’s keeping us in suspense. According to British newspaper The Sun, Kevin is planning to add an additional track to his record where he’ll duet with wife Britney Spears, currently pregnant with their second child.

"He will be rapping over her singing. But people are warning it could be a career move for Britney," a source told the tabloid. Either that or it could be Toxic.

It’s no bluff.

First comes love, then comes marriage. And now that both have been broadcast by CBS, Survivor spouses Rob Mariano and Amber Brkich are doing the next best thing – starring in their own reality series on the Fox Reality Network, says www.variety.com. The Rob and Amber Project (how original) will follow the couple as Rob attempts to use their television winnings to bankroll his career as a professional poker player in Las Vegas. Amber, having little else still to do other than ride his coattails, will follow him on his quest.

"We've grown up with Rob and Amber. We've seen their first kiss on Survivor and watched their wedding. They're likeable and competitive," David Lyle, general manager of Fox Reality, said. "What Rob's trying to do now, it's probably every guy's dream and every girl's nightmare."

The Rob and Amber Project is scheduled to premiere in January. Can you say flop?

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Say it ain’t so.

They will not go. Away, that is. The Los Angeles Times reports that Travis Barker and Shanna Moakler, the made-for-MTV spouses on Meet the Barkers, have purchased a new home in Calabasas, California, putting at least a temporary end to the widespread rumors that they had broken up like Blink-182. Shanna said the reason the couple elected to move to Calabasas was due to their desire to "move a little further from the city." Their new home will be same size as their old Bel-Air pad, measuring approximately 12,000 square feet with eight bedrooms and a whopping 10 ½ bathrooms. Of all the small things.

Tori’s tune up.

Donna Martin graduates. Donna Martin loses her virginity. Donna Martin sings?

According to
www.contactmusic.com she does. The web site claims that Tori Spelling is currently in negotiations to take over the role of Roxie Hart in the Broadway musical Chicago starting this August. Tori’s participation in the production would mark the addition of yet another notable, or noTORIous (depending on how you look at it), new cast member in recent days, as R&B singer Usher recently joined the show in the part of lawyer Billy Flynn. Come to think of it, Cook County Jail is probably a lot like West Beverly...and All That Jazz.

Monday, July 17, 2006

All the cameras come out for a public affair…

As if it wasn’t bad enough to have America watching—and critiquing—his every move on Newlyweds comes word that one special fan of Nick Lachey’s may have been paying him some even more extra-special attention over the course of the last several months. The fan in question? Joe Simpson, father of Nick’s now ex-wife Jessica. The New York Daily News claims that Joe watched Nick closely over the course of Nick and Jessica’s separation, paying particular notice to a night when he, new gal pal Vanessa Minnillo and Jess’s former assistant CaCee Cobb were all in attendance at the same nightclub.

"Joe called the club people after hearing Nick was there and demanded to see the security videotape," an insider dished. "Joe was looking to incriminate Nick. He told the club, 'If you ever want to see my daughter there, you'll give me what I want.'" Despite his threat, the club refused to cooperate.

Representatives for the Simpsons claim the story is untrue. Much like the notion that Jessica will ever find another man who will put up with Joe the way Nick did.

Sadie, Sadie, returning lady.

If reports by the UPI News Service are correct, it doesn’t sound like The OC’s Ryan will be mourning the loss of Marissa for too long. Nikki Reed, who played cousin mourning, jewelry making Sadie Campbell for several episodes this past season, is rumored to be returning next year.

"I can't tell you. They told me I can't tell you," Nikki said in an interview earlier this week. "I think its implication enough."

Sadie was last seen dumping Ryan, as she didn’t want to play second fiddle to his upcoming college experience at Berkeley. Or put a damper on the writers’ inevitable attempt to try and reconcile him with Marissa before she would meet her maker (and probably deceased stalker Johnny in the afterlife) a few episodes later.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

We’re all stars now.

Somewhat androgynous rock star Marilyn Manson and his wife, Dita Von Teese, have turned down the opportunity to star in their own television reality series, says a report on www.entertainmentwise.com. Producers who approached the singer with the idea were looking to replicate the success MTV had with The Osbournes and felt Marilyn and his new bride would be the ideal couple to do so. But Dita, it appears, felt otherwise.

"I guess our life is a little bit like what you'd imagine, but then our stage personas are not far from what we are like in real life. It's a madhouse like The Osbournes. For a start, I'm always walking around naked or in a negligee. We've been approached for a show, but we'd never do it," she said regarding their decision not to participate.

Too bad…would have been a Dope Show.

Saturday, July 15, 2006

He’s not that innocent.

Justin Timberlake swears you’ll never see him engaging in acts of drug use or excessive drinking. Refreshing? Perhaps. But unlikely nonetheless, especially when the singer himself has recently provided confirmation of his indulgence in such activities to British magazine Observer Music Monthly, according to a story on www.contactmusic.com.

"The drugs I do have been in my own private time. I've never been arrested... though that's not to say I won't. I get plastered, I've done my fair share of drugs and I've been caught with my pants down. I just make sure there are no cameras around," Justin reportedly bragged to the magazine.

But for those of you worrying that Justin’s dabbling may become detrimental, he insists there’s no cause for concern.

"They always say too much of a good thing can be a bad thing. I try to live my life in a well-rounded manner. We all make mistakes. I've done too many drugs already. I've already inhaled and already - who knows?" he explained, unclearly enough to make his answer seem suspicious. You know, you think about it, sometimes people just destined, destined to do what they do. And that's what it is.

Charity rarity.

Like a story sweet enough to have been an episode of 7th Heaven, Jessica Biel is auctioning herself off for charity.

The Associated Press reports that a date with the actress, late of the cancelled UPN series and 2005's Sexiest Woman Alive per Esquire Magazine, will be available to the highest bidder next week in an effort to raise funds to offset the medical expenses of Denver, Colorado teen Molly Bloom. Molly, an 18-year-old high school graduate, was en route to her prom when she was involved in an accident with a limousine, resulting in the loss of her leg. The mother of a friend of Molly’s contacted Jessica’s family, residents of nearby Boulder (where Jessica grew up), to ask for Jessica’s help.

"My mom happened to be able to contact (Biel's) parents, and they had heard about Molly's tragedy. They said 'yeah, I bet she'll do that,'" Dmitri Lee Natali, one of Molly’s friends, said regarding Jessica’s participation.

"Mollypalooza," as the event has been nicknamed, will be held on Tuesday, July 18 at the Rock Island Club in Denver. And while Jessica herself won’t be able to attend the event (she is currently on location for her next film), prospective suitors can listen to her audio plea for help by visiting
http://www.dosomethingthatmatters.com/. How very Stealth.

Friday, July 14, 2006

Team Coop.

Today, Friday, July 14, marks a special day for fans of The OC, who will unite worldwide for Save Marissa Banner Day, according to www.savincoop.com. The new website was designed by fans dedicated to showing producers of the show how important they feel it is that Marissa is a part of season four, despite the character’s on-screen death back in May and Mischa Barton’s acceptance of her exit. To do this, they’re asking for your help in just about any way they can get it – in the form of donations (to set off the cost of building a lifeguard station in front of Fox Studios), small, localized protests involving the use of Marissa and Ryan’s unofficial theme song Forever Young and the purchase of various merchandise with the "Save Marissa" message, including t-shirts, calendars, hats and rubber bracelets. Or, as many fans clearly want to tell producers, "welcome to The OC, bitch."

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Dire attire.

Kevin Federline has announced on his myspace page (www.myspace.com/kevinfederlineforreal) that he’s been nominated for a Teen Choice Award. Perhaps the one for Biggest Loser? Not quite, but maybe a category that will quickly spiral to that level, given K-Fed’s participation. Kevin’s been nominated for the award given to the male Red Carpet Fashion Icon. Which is ironic, given I didn’t realize that wife beaters and Fedora hats were considered "fashion," much less fashionable. Fellow nominees include Diddy, Kanye West, Nick Lachey, Ryan Seacrest and Terence Howard. Who said the Devil wears Prada?

A Simpson shout-out.

Ever wonder what it would be like to be serenaded by Jessica Simpson? Ever want to be? If so, now’s your chance. A story on www.contactmusic.com explains how executives at Epic, Jessica’s label, are making that happen. Fans can visit Yahoo! Music and select their name (or whatever name they want, for that matter) from a list of 500 available. The chosen name is then mixed into a specially created version of Jessica’s new single, A Public Affair, and delivered a few days later. Irresistible to me? Not so much.

Monday, July 10, 2006

Dieter's debut.

Not satisfied with launching his own charity and spending the last several months inexplicably making public appearances with ex-girlfriend Jessica, Laguna Beach’s Dieter Schmitz, like Lauren, Kristin and (recently) Casey, has been bitten by the acting bug. If you want to call it that. A posting on Dieter’s myspace page (http://www.myspace.com/dieterschmitz) reveals that he’s already got two movies in post-production. In Aces, a weak attempt to cash in on America’s fascination with poker and gambling, he plays "Preppy Young Man" (way to go there, Dieter). And in The Champagne Gang, coincidentally backed by the same producer as Aces, Dieter stretches to play "Skater Dude." What, Trey wasn’t available?

Friday, July 07, 2006

Kelly’s water weight.

Ever wonder what Kelly Clarkson and 50 Cent could possibly have in common? No, it’s not a love of ProActiv Solutions (that would be Kelly and P. Diddy), but an affinity for Vitamin Water. Last year, the rapper endorsed an exclusive Vitamin Water flavor of his own and this year, Page Six of the New York Post reports that Kelly’s slated to do the same. But before audiences can get a taste Kelly’s flavor, she’s been put on a diet by Vitamin Water manufacturers. The company, whose product claims to have 50 percent of the daily vitamin requirements a person needs, wants to ensure that Kelly’s image is in line with their product’s promise to promote a fit and healthy lifestyle. So, 50, lay off on the offers to take Kelly to the Candy Shop.

More Simple Strife.

The E! Network, clearly thinking they still need to fill the horrific-programming void left by the cancelled Tara Reid debacle Taradise, has ordered a fifth season of The Simple Life, says www.contactmusic.com. Reality television’s favorite ex-best friends, Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie, will now be forced to spent yet another year trying to out-do each other, both onscreen and on the scale. No word yet on what scenario E! has come up with to keep the girls occupied, nor if anyone will actually care enough to watch. Take that, bitches.

The New Girl’s New Job.

Casey Reinhardt, aka "The New Girl" featured in season two of Laguna Beach, is attempting to follow in the For You I Will (Confidence) video footsteps of LB classmate Kristin Cavallari by starring in Head Automatica’s Graduation Day video. The video features a group of high school graduates receiving their diplomas, then flashes forward to reveal what each will be doing in the future. Casey and her hair extensions ironically channel Kristin, playing the bad girl who publicly kisses someone else’s boyfriend only to end up, in the future, alone, pregnant and with two children. Kristin, our fingers are crossed for you.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Real estate(ly) for sale.

It appears another Dynasty has come to an end—Candy Spelling, widow of Aaron, has reportedly put their lavish, 56,000 square foot Beverly Hills mansion on the market. A report on www.tmz.com claims the asking price for the Holmby Hills estate is approximately $150 million dollars, probably a bargain if you actually have close to the net worth of some of the cast of characters Aaron has created during the course of his career. A source familiar with the listing also reveals that Candy has let many of the property’s staff go, supposedly so that it can be shown to select realtors and potential buyers discreetly. Let’s hope Tori checked her BlackBerry before it’s too late to clean out her bedroom.

Tina snaps.

Tina Simpson, mother to those infamous singing sisters, put her very-expensively outfitted foot down when it came to the concept a photographer wanted to use on a recent shoot with newly-divorced daughter Jessica. According to a report in the National Enquirer, a pouty Jess, dressed in Daisy Dukes and a bra, would stand in front of a shirtless male model, who’d just happen to be unbuttoning his pants behind her. And while, unsurprisingly, Papa Joe and the art director on hand had no objections to the racy pose, it was simply too much for Tina to take.

"Tina said the pose was too risqué and made Jessica look slutty. Joe was perplexed. He saw the setup in advance and had no problem. But when he tried to persuade Tina to change her mind, she'd have none of it. Tina dug in her heels and said there was no way she'd allow Jess to appear in the layout the way it was designed," a source blabbed to the tabloid. "She told Joe: 'I'm her mother. Trust me. This isn't the image we want.'"

No, no, we certainly wouldn’t want that. Because an image like that might suggest you're comfortable with selling the rights to your daughter's marriage for television viewing, putting her on the cover of Maxim Magazine and sitting back as she titles her next single A Public Affair. Nope, certainly wouldn't want that image...