I'm coming out, so you'd better get this party started.

Need something to do this Friday night? If you live in the Miami Beach area, you’re in luck.
Dan Renzi, of Real World Miami fame, has put out an open invitation to his birthday party on his personal blog (http://danrenzi.typepad.com/stuff/2006/06/oh_my_gosh_what.html). In addition to posting the very pink invite, Dan also added this note:

You must come. It's going to be quite a riot. I will be bartending, which means the bar will be complete chaos and the drinks will be made totally incorrectly but will be filled with lots of liquor nonetheless. We have pink prizes to give away and everything.

And in lieu of making donations to charitable organizations, feel free to spend your money on presents, as I am actually accepting gifts myself. As long as they somehow fit into the "Pink" theme.

The party will be held at Madiba and include a drag show performance by Mizz Cori, The Lady Lvy and Tiffany. How jealous do you think Real World Boston cast member Genesis is?

Stay together for the kids.

As if you needed more proof that the marriage of Meet the Barkers' Shanna Moakler and Travis Barker is on the rocks, the Blink-182 drummer was spotted out and about at club Xenii—sans wife—last Saturday night, says http://www.janetcharltonshollywood.com/. Instead of hanging at home, Trav was seen partying with a group of revelers including Janet Jackson, her beau Jermaine Dupri and Jamie Foxx, as well as several adoring female fans. Travis was also overhead tells pals that he was currently bunking in a hotel, suggesting that perhaps Shanna had kicked him to the curb. He stayed at the club until 4:30 in the morning and left by himself. A divorce would mark the second time Travis has (personally) gone solo and leave him free to find love with the next girl at the rock show.

Knight Writer.

Smug David Hasselhoff, who continues to be the only one impressed by his career choices, and interested in what the next one will be, has announced plans to star in musical production he’s written for himself, about himself, says the SF Gate Daily Dish (http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/sfgate/indexd?blogid=7).

"I've already arranged and written it with the guys who did Chicago," he revealed to USA Today. "I love musical theater. That's what I started off to do when I was 7 and my first show was Peter Pan. I loved doing Jekyll & Hyde (a 2001 musical). I loved Billy Flynn (on stage) in London. I love the audience. I love the fun of a live show."

No word on when the David Hasselhoff Musical will start production. But I’ll be ready. Forever and always. I’m always here.

Me-Ewh!

E! Online’s resident gossip queen Kristin is reporting that Laguna Beach’s Talan Torriero is dating Nicole Scherzinger, lead singer of the Pussycat Dolls. (Collective) Ewh. Although Kristin has speculated on their hush-hush relationship before, she received a definitive confirmation from Talan’s LB cast mate and ex-girlfriend Taylor, whom Kristin had been grilling at a press event for clothing line LRG. Which provides a disturbing frame of reference for 19-year-old Talan’s offhand comment about "waking up a Pussycat Doll" (the 28-year-old Nicole) on Tuesday night’s Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List. Don’t Cha wish? No, not so much.

Family.

Tori Spelling, down over the death of her father Aaron, but not out when it comes to seeking tasteless press coverage, is lashing out at her mother Candy. The reason? According to www.contactmusic.com, Tori learned of her father’s passing not from her mother, but from a condolence e-mail sent by a friend.

"I was told he could have had months to live. A friend of mine had seen a TV report and emailed me, 'I'm so sorry. I just heard your father died.' And I was just in total shock," Tori said in a story that will appear in US Weekly. "My first thought was, 'I can't believe my mother didn't call me!'"

Really? That’s your reaction to your father’s death? Aaron was 83 years old, had a history of oral cancer and, just a few days earlier, suffered a stroke. And somehow, it’s Candy’s fault that you didn’t think to maybe take a break from taunting your new husband’s ex-wife in Toronto, Canada long enough to stop by? Nice, eh?

You won’t see Pieces of Ashlee.

Ashlee Simpson and her new nose have turned down a whopping $4 million dollars from Playboy Magazine to appear in an upcoming pictorial, says www.TMZ.com. Ashlee’s publicist, Rob Shuter confirmed the offer, although no official reason was given as to why she turned it down. One can only speculate that she’s truly a fool, since it’s not like her voice or charisma will be able to carry her much further than she’s already gotten in her career. And that creepy Papa Joe, who once commented so fondly on the inability to hide daughter Jessica’s double Ds, just couldn’t figure out a way to justify Ashlee’s appearance in the magazine without making it even more obvious that his interest in daughters is perhaps a wee-bit inappropriate. Hey, how long ‘til you face what’s going on?

Katie gets canned.

Katie Lee Joel, wife of Billy, who spent the first season of Bravo’s Top Chef judging alongside Tom Colicchio and Gail Simmons, has had her goose cooked—she will not be returning for the show’s second season.

While many speculated that Katie’s uncomfortable-sounding delivery and deadpan manner contributed to her exit, a posting on the blog (http://www.bravotv.com/blog/andysblog/2006/06/queer_eye_wrap_party.html) of
Bravo’s Vice President of Production and Programming intimated that it was Katie’s choice, that she left to "pursue other opportunities." Right. Because her calendar was just overflowing with opportunities before Top Chef came along (if you count bailing her husband out of rehab again as one of those opportunities). Andy went on to describe Katie as "a dynamic, beautiful woman who is passionate about food with a real zest for life." But apparently, not enough spice.

Making the Bail.

Babs Bunny, the Brooklyn-born female MC, who P. Diddy recruited as part of ‘Da Band on season two of MTV’s Making the Band, has been arrested. Shocker. A report on www.allhiphop.com claims that Babs was involved in an altercation with two other women at a house party over the weekend. The source of the scuffle? The boyfriend of one of the two women, with whom Babs was accused of flirting and dancing.

"They threatened not only me but my family and anyone that knows me knows I don't play when it comes to my family," Babs said in a statement to www.allhiphop.com about the incident.

Unfortunately for Babs, the police weren’t playing either when they chose to believe the accusers’ tale, one of who claimed that Babs not only threatened her, but also keyed and scratched her car. Babs spent the remainder of the night in a local jail and was instructed to stay at least 100 feet away from the woman.

"She wants Babs to pay for supposedly trying to steal her boyfriend. The charges are absolutely ridiculous!" Babs’ representative Alyse Feldman, who was also at the party, said of the charges. Bad boy this, bad boy that.

The Hours.

Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban gave each guest at their weekend wedding a Tiffany & Co. clock, says www.contactmusic.com. The clocks were each wrapped in Tiffany’s trademark blue box. Recipients included Naomi Watts, Russell Crowe and Hugh Jackman, all of whom can use them to count down as to how quickly this marriage will be over.

Cry me a river.

Britney Spears, still smarting from the fact the public did not find her Dateline confessional as moving as she had hoped, has reportedly turned down perhaps what could have been the only positive outcome resulting from her weepy Matt Lauer tell-all – an endorsement offer from Kleenex, says The Daily Snack (http://dailysnack.com/celebrity_news_article.html?fSKU=3675).

"Kleenex thought it would help her tattered image if she found the humour in her tearful interview and did a comedy parody of it. The Internet is full of cheeky imitations of the interview. And she could get people to laugh with her, not at her, if she took part in her very own skit," a source explained about Kleenex’s intentions. "Kate Moss joked about losing her contracts in the Virgin Mobile adverts and it did her the world of good."

But "emotional wreck" Britney didn’t find the funny in Kleenex’s offer.

"Britney was fuming when Kleenex approached her. She wants to put that horrific TV appearance behind her as quickly as possible and doesn’t want to remind the world about it with a series of tasteless commercials," a pal of the pop star said. Right. Because still being married to Kevin Federline is clearly reminder enough.

Strut your stuff for George Huff.

American Idol’s George Huff, a fan favorite and a top five finisher in season three despite the judges’ complaints the he looked too old, has found a new job. George will be working for Gospel Dream, the Gospel Music Channel’s version of AI, where hopefuls compete to make it big in the world of gospel music, says a report on www.theshowbuzz,cbsnews.com. Auditions start this month and continue through July in six different cities, with George there to encourage and cheer contestants on through the process. Because some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this.

Justin and Cameron go Pop!

Britney Spears, take note – Justin Timberlake is back on the market.

A report on Janet Charlton's Hollywood (http://www.janetcharltonshollywood.com/) claims that Justin Timberlake called it quits with longtime girlfriend Cameron Diaz last week (ironically, right about the time Britney was spilling her own beans to Dateline). Justin allegedly broke up with Cameron as both were preparing to leave town, he to start touring to support his soon-to-be-released album and she to do some movie work. Insiders claim that Cameron is distraught.

"They were a great, well matched couple in many ways but Cameron (at 33) is ready to settle down and wants a commitment, even though she might not admit it. Justin is only 24 and he's been with Cameron for three years. He hasn't had a chance to sow his wild oats yet," a supposed insider divulged. "A few weeks back, Justin and his buddies took off for a few days in Las Vegas and Cameron went chasing after him. She was just too clingy." So maybe the break up was Justified after all.

Kat lets it out of the bag.

Katharine "Cleavage" McPhee will again follow in Taylor Hicks’ footsteps when she graces this week’s People Magazine, revealing that she used to battle bulimia, according to entertainment news program Extra! (http://extratv.warnerbros.com/v2/news/0606/21/2/text.html).

"She was throwing up seven times a day," Jamie Bufalino of People said, describing Katharine’s confession about her struggle and her belief that the timing of American Idol forced her to face her body image and food anxieties. "When she got to Idol, that's when she got serious." It was at that time when Katharine reached out to a Los Angeles area eating disorder clinic for help.

"I was always trying to lose weight and then I was obsessed about the food," Katharine said the night before the AI finale, hinting at what she is now sharing publicly. "As soon as I stopped worrying about the food, the weight just started coming off." Katharine has shed approximately 30 pounds and three dress sizes. She credits the support she gets from her parents and boyfriend Nick Cokas with helping her lose weight the healthy way and will showcase her fabulous form on the cover of the next issue of Teen People.

"I'm very honored that people say I'm a role model for young girls," Kat said. No need for Kat to wonder then, as Taylor might say, "Do I Make You Proud?"

A Corey story.

The Lost Boys have been found.

E! Online is reporting that teen dreams Corey Feldman and Corey Haim will reunite once again to co-star in a new series called (what else?) The Two Coreys. Daily Variety just recently made the announcement, presumably to help attract a network to the currently-unattached project.

The Two Coreys will feature Feldman and Haim playing supposedly fictionalized renditions of themselves, although the proposed scenarios seem painfully close to real-life. Feldman will "play" a married man with a son and Haim will "play" a bachelor with (fortunately) no offspring. Executive Greg Goldman, who’s working on developing the series, said the two Coreys have a chemistry that "just pops off the screen."

While neither one have had professional success in recent years, both have seemingly managed to get their personal lives back on track. Feldman has continued to act in various B, C and D list films, got married (for the second time) and had a child. Haim, according to a friend interviewed in London’s Daily Star, said he’s "clean and sober and ready to put his life in perspective." The article also claimed that he was planning to author an exposé about an affair he claims to have had with Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham during her pop super stardom years.

Sleep all day. Party all night. Never grow old. Never die. It's fun to be a Corey.

Fun, sun and marriage done?

Could Kevin Federline be taking the pleas for privacy that wife Britney Spears begged for during her Dateline interview literally? MSNBC’s The Scoop claims that despite being photographed together on a Florida beach, frolicking in the sand and surf with son Sean Preston, the couple spent the majority of their recent vacation apart, even going as far as staying in separate rented houses.

"She did it to get away from Kevin," a source told In Touch Weekly regarding the lodging arrangements. Britney was also (wisely) a no-show at Kevin’s scheduled appearance at South Beach’s Club Mansion, where he stayed until 3:30 am downing Cristal champagne with eight of his own Feder-friends (he apparently missed the Jay Z memo about how Cristal no longer has street cred).

Despite the extra effort and energy, though, that it must require, Britney is taking precautions to be sure her marriage looks magical from the outside. A supposed friend divulges that, regarding her relationship with K-Fed, the Britster "wants the world to think they’re happier than ever." Or, at the very least, In the Zone.

Mike Malin mouths off.

Can’t wait a mere few hours more to learn the name of at least one of the contestants who might appear on the upcoming Big Brother All Stars? Reality TV Magazine (http://www.realitytvmagazine.com) suggests you should then check out www.mikeboogiemalin.com, the official web site for Mike "Boogie" Malin, where he’s posted the following message:

A message to my fans:

Hi,

This is Mike "Boogie" Malin. Thanks for visiting my official website. I am going to be on the CBS Big Brother Allstar show on Wednesday night, June 21, 2006.

I need you to go to http://www.cbs.com and vote for me so that I can make your summer filled with Boogie Nights.

I love my fans and want you to send me an email and come and party with me at one of my hot night clubs when you are in town.

Look forward to entertaining you all summer.

Mike "Boogie" Malin

No word on whether or not Mike’s early reveal (assuming, of course, that he’s actually being truthful about his participation – after all, being a good liar is an advantageous skill on Big Brother) will anger CBS enough to disqualify him or Julie Chen enough to visually show an emotion.

Real(ity) estate.

Lending credibility to the rumors that their marriage is on the rocks comes word that the home of Shanna Moakler and husband Travis Barker is for sale. A posting on Oh No They Didn’t (http://community.livejournal.com/ohnotheydidnt/) claims that the house prominently featured on MTV’s Meet the Barkers can be yours for a mere $9,500,000. The property, located in the Holmby Hills area of Bel Air, comes complete with 8 bedrooms and 9 baths. Often-neglected first daughter Atiana is probably also included.

Jane’s Addiction and Baywatch friction?

The Star Magazine is reporting that the marriage between Carmen Electra and Dave Navarro is all but over. The couple, featured on the reality series ’Til Death Do Us Part, haven’t been spotted together in several months, adding fuel the fire that the marriage may be kaput within One Hot Minute.

"Since March, they've hardly been together at all," a source told the Star. "She's traveling all the time and doesn't even bother to tell him her schedule. Dave's pissed off, and the stress of seeing the marriage going downhill must be breaking him apart. I think one of the reasons she's working so hard is she doesn't want to face the fact that her marriage is over. Bottom line is that the thrill is gone."

The couple have been married for two-and-a-half years, outlasting Carmen’s infamous union with basketball freak Dennis Rodman and Dave’s two previous walks down the aisle, the first of which ended in divorce and the second via annulment. Talk about an unfortunate way to again get Singled Out.

Diddy’s vanity, er, Danity.

If you haven’t had a chance to do so already, visit the myspace page of Danity Kane (http://www.myspace.com/danitykane), the unfortunate name given to the most recent band created by P. Diddy and MTV's Making the Band. Band member Dawn can actually be credited (blamed) for originating the name Danity Kane, according to various reports, as it allegedly caught Diddy’s attention when he and the girls were brainstorming on what to call themselves. Danity Kane, in addition to sounding like the handle of a poorly-named porn star, is the moniker of an animae superheroine Dawn apparently has developed. And now, unfortunately for Aubrey, Aundrea, Dawn, Shannon and Wanita, what they’ll be stuck with as they attempt to establish some credibility in the music industry, ironically happening right now, as they’ve just made their first single, Show Stopper, available for download. Score(s)!

(White)Starr bright? Yeah, right.

Cisco Adler and his band Whitestarr must be singing a pretty sad song in light of the New York Daily News’ reveal that their recently released album, Luv Machine, has only sold 812 copies. That’s right, 812. The album, a compilation of thirteen tracks including the unoriginally-named Sunshine Girl and uninspired Cherry Surprise, is currently available via the band’s myspace page as well as through www.amazon.com (for a mere $13.98). No word yet on whether these dismal sales with expedite a departure from inexplicable girlfriend Mischa Barton the way The OC ratings did for her alter-ego Marissa Cooper.

More boo boos for Britney.

Matt Lauer and the staff from Dateline found it to be a bit Outrageous when they arrived at Britney Spears’ Malibu mansion last week and discovered her sans publicists, according to a report in Page Six of the New York Post.

"Neither of her publicists, Leslie Sloane Zelnick or Nanci Ryder, showed up," Page Six’s source tattled. "When [the NBC crew] got there, they thought they had the wrong day . . . During the interview, no one was there to rein things in."

Which is something Britney clearly could have used…and not just to prevent her from practically falling out of her ill-fitting tank top and mini skirt. In addition to selecting her own wardrobe, Britney also insisted on (start air quote) styling (end air quote) her own hair and (start air quote) doing (end air quote) her own make up, although neither apparently involved using a brush or glancing in a mirror to be sure she’d evenly applied her mascara. When asked why Britney was left unattended, Leslie Sloane Zelnick said, "Britney is a grown-up and makes her own decisions." Or, as is the more popular belief, oops, she did it again.

One Tree Thriller.

Not satisfied co-"starring" together on One Tree Hill, soon-to-be husband and wife Chad Michael Murray and Kenzie Dalton are in discussions to do a movie together, says www.hollywoodfashiontrends.com. The plot of the rumored film centers around an engaged couple who are about to have a child. The woman (Kenzie) gets pregnant and disappears unexpectedly, leaving her significant other (CMM) to do everything he can to find her. And, just to add some dramatic tension to what’s sure to be a real thriller, reports claim that CMM’s character might be even die at the end of the movie. Ahh, Sophia Bush’s hidden fantasy come true.

Peanut Brother and Jelly.

On Wednesday, June 21, CBS will finally reveal what we’ve all been waiting for—which house guests from previous seasons of Big Brother will beg and plead for viewers to send them into this summer’s All Stars shelter, says Reality TV Magazine (www.realitytvmagazine.com). In addition to their publicly-broadcasted appeals, additional information about why each house guest feels they should be selected will be posted on www.CBS.com. Voting will begin immediately following the program and end a week later, on Wednesday, June 28, quite a bit longer than I think some of those house guests will actually last if voted in this season (Jase, anyone?).

Are more TomKittens coming?

What do Kevin Federline and Tom Cruise have in common? According to the National Enquirer, a desire to keep their wives at home, barefoot and pregnant. A story in the upcoming issue reveals that just a few weeks after the birth of baby Suri, Tom and fiancée Katie Holmes may already be trying for her sibling.

"Tom and Katie are so thrilled with Suri that they want to have a second baby right away," a source allegedly friendly with the couple told the Enquirer. "And they're hoping to announce the news as early as their planned July 4th weekend wedding. Before Suri's birth they talked about having two or three kids — and they don't want to wait."

And while many might assume it’s Tom who’s applying the pressure for more pampers, another source who tattled to the tabloid claims that Katie’s just as into the idea as her future husband.

"Katie was really scared of becoming a mom," the sneak disclosed. "She didn't know what to expect and she was worried that she'd be overwhelmed by all the responsibilities. But she's loving every minute of being home with Suri. Katie isn't at all concerned with getting back to work."

Which is ironic, given Katie is often photographed out and about, minus baby Suri (who has yet to make her first public appearance) and I highly doubt her agent’s been fending off potential offers of employment since Joey dumped Dawson for Pacey. Or perhaps she’s just really honed her acting skills, having to pretend she’s not afraid of glib Tom?

Hilary Duff comes clean.

Contrary to popular belief, 18-year-old Hilary Duff has not given up the good stuff to 27-year-old boyfriend Joel Madden. A report on www.contactmusic.com claims that the actress has vowed to remain a virgin until her wedding night. But that hasn’t stopped fans of both Lizzie McGuire and Good Charlotte from believing that her virtue is so yesterday.

"It's harder having a boyfriend who's older because people just assume. But (virginity) is definitely something I like about myself. It doesn't mean I haven't thought about sex, because everyone I know has had it and you want to fit in," Hilary said.

And if you change your mind…well, that's the way it goes.

Get counseled by Carmen.

Who knew you could learn so much from Carmen Electra?

First, she taught us how to do striptease aerobics on her own line of DVDs. And now, after finding true love with husband Dave Navarro (albeit amidst ongoing rumors that they’re on the verge of breaking up), Carmen’s been named the official spokesperson for www.Luvoo.com, according to www.derekhail.com.

For those of you who aren’t familiar with www.Luvoo.com, I doubt anyone would be surprised. Luvoo is yet another online dating service, one in which seems to be wholly centered around their non-catchy slogan, "are you ready to lose your keys?" Rather than develop technology that matches potential mates based on their likes and dislikes, Luvoo pushes people to just meet face to face. Because after all, as they explain on their web site, it’s the only way to really find out if two people are truly compatible (and arguably truly shallow). The "key" concept is apparently a loose reference to the Luvoo key chain I can only infer that successfully matched couples may be fortunate enough to receive. In addition to serving as spokesperson, Carmen will also offer advice to online daters. Like maybe to steer clear of quickie Las Vegas weddings?

Another Affair to share.

Jessica Simpson, tired of being all that’s left of Nick Lachey, has announced the first single from her new album will be called A Public Affair, says www.mtv.com. And while many (all) may automatically assume that the title refers to her impending divorce, Jess’s label claims that’s not at all the case.

"That was a statement she wanted to make," Epic Records President Charlie Walk said during a listening session for Jessica’s album. "Everything she does is a public affair ... [but] this is about having fun."

And what could possibly be more fun then pairing very un-Jessica like lyrics ("All the girls are stepping out for a public affair/ All night, let's rock 'cause the party don't stop/ You know the cameras come out for a public affair") with a roller-disco themed video? Inexplicably, X-Men: The Last Stand director Brett Ratner will helm that production at the end of this month, giving it plenty of time to skate to the top of the charts before her album is released on August 29. Can I get a hand clap?

Help wanted: Tattoo Crüe.

Vince Neil, the lead singer of Mötley Crüe, will open his own tattoo parlor later this summer, according to the Las Vegas Review Journal. The 2,200 square foot shop will be housed inside the Flamingo Casino and Resort on Las Vegas’ infamous Strip. In an interview via telephone, Vince promised that his new digs will have a definite "rock and roll vibe." As if this comes as a surprise to anyone.

Construction will begin later this month and is expected to be complete before fall. As is Vince’s interest in the project.

Will the next Slim Shady please stand up?

VH1, still attempting to recapture the glory days of Behind the Music, has announced their newest venture into the world of "celebreality," a program called The White Rapper Show, says www.contactmusic.com. The series will feature 12 aspiring rappers who will live together in the South Bronx and compete in various challenges designed to determine which of them will be the next Eminem.

"They’ll have to earn credibility and the respect of the people in the Bronx," Michael Hirschorn, VH1 executive vice president of programming said. And, unlike Eminem, without assistance from prescription pain killers and Dr. Dre.

Designed to blow your mind.

Tre Scott, nee Trevor Penick of O-Town, will attempt to ride the shabby coattails of Ashley Parker Angel with his own reality show on MTV’s neighboring network VH1. The announcement was made on Tre’s myspace page (http://www.myspace.com/trescott) at the same time as "fans" were informed that his solo debut tour was canceled. For those of you who don’t remember, Tre/Trevor was the O-Town oddball who spent much of his screen time whining that he didn’t have a girlfriend/couldn’t get a date. Which I highly doubt with change with his new starring role, but I digress. Filming on Tre’s tell-all will begin in a few weeks.

You are out.

Producers of Project Catwalk, the British equivalent of Bravo’s Project Runway, have replaced show hostess Elizabeth Hurley with Kelly Osbourne (yes, Kelly Osbourne) according to a report on www.entertainmentwise.com. Rumors had allegedly been circulating that Liz’s style was too staid and Kelly would be able to bring a new level of excitement to the series.

“The chance to do a show that features two of my favorite loves—TV and fashion— is a dream come true. What more could a girl want?” Kelly told the Sun about the opportunity. Or, as Heidi Klum would say, auf Wiedersehen, Liz.

Katie Holmes can’t see straight.

Or so the National Enquirer is claiming in an upcoming issue. The tabloid says that Katie suffers from recurring double vision, the result of an eye injury she received when playing with a pal as a teenager in Toledo. For years following the accident, Katie wore corrective glasses to help improve her vision, but to no avail, as the effects of the injury still linger today.

"If I get tired sometimes, I see double out of it," Katie has reportedly said, the National Enquirer attributing this to her accident. Maybe this is why she’s been unable to see how crazy Tom Cruise has been acting since they met?

From the board room to the board game.

With ratings for The Apprentice hitting new lows this season, Donald Trump, in conjunction with toy maker Hasbro, has announced plans to develop a reality show based on the timeless board game Monopoly, says www.contactmusic.com. Onscreen, contestants will need to collect and enhance properties to increase their own net worth, the winner being the competitor who amasses the most at the end of the game, er, show. Donald’s version of Monopoly will mark his second reality television project and the first time the dog and the race car can prove what they’re worth.

That’s how he became the “Manny.”

Is it really possible that Britney Spears has hired someone even less qualified than husband Kevin Federline to take care of baby Sean?

It appears that might be the case. A story on www.tmz.com claims that the "manny" she’s been seen out and about with lately is actually 28-year-old Perry Taylor, a Washington, DC native and graduate of the Naval Academy. Perry scored the Britney gig after relocating to the Los Angeles area with the intent of pursuing a career in the private security industry. And for all of us out there hoping that the "manny" might be able to lure Britney away from Kevin, prepare to be disappointed – Perry has a live-in girlfriend of two years, whom his mother claims is "the best girl he's ever been with" and describes her as "a bombshell." Isn’t she lucky, this Hollywood girl?

The Full House hop.

Full House’s Jodie Sweetin, who played middle child Stephanie Tanner, has agreed to host Fuse Network’s Pants-Off Dance Off, says a report in Page Six of the New York Post. The former child star is probably best known for being overshadowed on the series by co-stars Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, then later in life becoming addicted to crystal meth. Pants-Off Dance Off will showcase people desperate for attention and apparently willing to strip down to their skivvies while their favorite music videos serve as a backdrop (yes, that is the entire show premise). While Jodie won’t confirm whether or not she plans to participate, she will reportedly try to woo M-K and Ashley into making an appearance, although using a cookie as a bribe, a successful trick used back on the twins during their FH days, is probably not likely.

Baby Poo-poo zao.

Britney Spears is gearing up for another inevitable misstep, says a report on www.entertainmentwise.com. British tabloid the Sun claims that the singer is considering a career in fashion, specifically designing clothes for the little ones she loves so much.

"I’ve spent so much shopping for Sean I thought, ‘I could do that and have people paying me a fortune,’" Britney reportedly was overheard saying. And that’s a fortune she might need one of these days, considering husband Kevin Federline seems to be bleeding (her) cash, spending thousands on pricey watches and recording sessions for his still-pending-a-distributor album.

"She’s had a lot of time on her hands where it’s just her and Sean and she would doodle designs. She’s really creative and loves doing it," said a friend of the singer. "She’s designed a little punk rock outfit, a hip hop outfit and a sharp suit. They’re so cute!"

Shoes will probably be sold separately. Or, if Britney’s fashions are really modeled in her image, won’t be available at all.

Burnin’ up.

Philanthropist Barbara Davis, grandmother to greasy Brandon, has taken it upon herself to try and distinguish the smoke that’s still rising over the "fire crotch" incident inflamed by her son during a drunken tirade outside a Beverly Hills night club. Today’s New York Post Page Six reports that the matriarch, desperate to save face in the public eye, has been telling friends that Brandon and Lindsay "Fire Crotch" Lohan are actually dating.

"Brandon is dating Lindsay now!" Barbara reportedly bragged at a birthday party for Kenny G this weekend, her status already clearly slipping from the A-list. And while a representative for Barbara somewhat backed up this claim, by confirming that Brandon did indeed take the Mean Girl to dinner recently, Lindsay’s rep Leslie Sloane denies that the date took place.

"It is unfortunate that Barbara Davis is desperate enough to make up a lie about Lindsay dating her grandson," Leslie responded when asked about the rendezvous. "Lindsay took the high road and accepted Brandon's apology last week, but they are not dating and they did not go to dinner together. Lindsay is dating several men who live overseas."

Several men? Overseas? If that won’t cause Lindsay—and this story—to burn out, I don’t know what will.

Mad hatter.

Trey Phillips, the Laguna Beach cast member who inexplicably managed to score himself an actual fashion show—for his hats—during one episode in the first season, has launched his own, official website – www.treydesign.com.

For those of you who watched closely, Trey wrangled buddies LC, Lo, Dieter, Morgan and Polster, among others, to model his oversized, graffiti-esque baseball caps for the benefit of Active Young America (AYA), a non-profit organization he started in the LB. How these hats help empower the youth of the world, I’m not quite sure. But Trey sure seemed to think he was making a difference back then and certainly still does now, based on the serious tone of his website. In his mission statement, Trey informs visitors that there are a lot of problems here in America (very observant), but that they aren’t beyond resolution—it’s our culture that can solve them. How exactly, you might wonder? Through expression, Trey believes. More specifically, expression through his custom-designed caps and new line of sunglasses. His future’s so bright, I gotta wear shades.

Daisy Dunzo.

Looks like Laguna Beach's Kristin Cavallari will not be slipping into Jessica Simpson's Daisy Dukes any time soon. In recent weeks, Kristin had reportedly been the front-runner in the planned prequel to the big screen movie Dukes of Hazzard, which would have marked the second time the MTV reality star tried to get into Jessica's pants, so to speak (the first time technically being the pants of Jess's ex-husband Nick Lachey). But today's Page Six of the New York Post claims that the role has actually been awarded to April Scott, a Maxim model and one of the many Deal or No Deal damsels who literally spend an hour each Monday night playing second fiddle to host Howie Mandel and an enthusiastic, yet often confused, contestant. Just like Daisy Duke herself.

Shannen mad about soNoTORIous gag.

Looks like newlywed Tori Spelling should not expect a belated wedding gift from former Beverly Hills, 90210 co-star and one-time pal Shannen Doherty if a report on www.contactmusic.com is true. The bad-attitude actress, known as much for her on-screen antics as those off, is feeling as betrayed as Brenda Walsh over some jokes Tori made at her expense on her VH1 series so NoTORIous. More specifically, these include one scene where Tori ducks behind a display at the Pleasure Chest, an erotic boutique in Los Angeles, to avoid running into fellow shopper Shannen and another where Tori recalls working on 90210 with Shannen years back, who, in Tori’s memory, appears as a dark, shadow-like figure who speaks as if she’s possessed. When word of these references reached Shannen, she wasn’t feeling quite so Charmed.

"(Spelling) sent me a tape of the pilot and a very, very, very small note asking me to do the show, promising that she would never say a bad word about me ever, and we used to be best friends, and still care about each other," Shannen said. "I was on a self-imposed hiatus. I needed time to myself and I said no. I don't know if it was something taken personally or maybe it was 'If we make fun of her, it will bring in the ratings and the publicity.' It did hurt." Not as much, though, as when Dylan dumped her for Kelly.

Nick Cannon: Wild ‘N Checked Out.

The New York Post Page Six reports that Nick Cannon, current host of MTV’s Wild ‘N Out sketch comedy show and previous star of family-friendly Nickelodeon’s All That, likes to make movies. And not just movies like Drumline, The Underclassman and the live action version of Garfield, but some that could be classified as a bit more, um, hard core.

"I used to have a house in the Hollywood Hills when I was 19 [and on Nickelodeon]. It was me and Kenan Thompson from Kenan and Kel. I know in my room I had the video cameras set up, and I don't know what happened to a lot of those tapes," Nick revealed in a recent interview with Complex Magazine. "We were throwing parties every day. I had to move out of L.A. because I was too wrapped up in that scene. It wasn't really about girls' feelings; it would just be like a contest to see how many chicks I could smash off."

What a charmer. Maybe Love Don’t Cost a Thing back then, but, depending who has those videos, it might now, Nick.

Drama in Dallas.

Although it wouldn’t have been uncommon to see Pamela and Sue Ellen of Dallas bickering with each other on the small screen, it apparently wasn’t motivating enough for Jennifer Garner to want to reenact it on the big screen. A story on www.contactmusic.com claims that the 13 Going on 30 star turned down the role made famous by Victoria Principal in the upcoming movie remake because hubby Ben Affleck’s ex-fiancée Jennifer Lopez had already been cast as JR’s wife.

"Jennifer Garner was really keen to be in Dallas, but I think she felt there would be a bit of a strain between them on the set and that could have led to awkward situations," a source said about the casting. "Both are totally professional, but there might have been a certain 'atmosphere' and Jennifer Garner didn't need to go there." Unless, of course, she had used an Alias.

“I’m tired of people lying, saying with what they want about me.”

Despite Brandon Davis’ pathetic mea culpa to Lindsay Lohan regarding his widely-publicized tirade outside a Hollywood night club with Paris Hilton, she’s not satisfied. For those of you who somehow missed Brandon’s attack, he drunkenly spouted insults to a crowd of paparazzi and Paris about Lindsay, repeatedly referring to her as a "fire crotch" and "poor." Video and audio recordings of Brandon’s behavior were widely circulated and he issued an apology to the Mean Girls star a day later, a plea that Lindsay has not publicly commented on.

Until now. In Touch Magazine says that Lindsay’s lawyers have contacted Brandon about the incident and have requested he make a $250,000 charitable donation, as well as issue a videotaped apology. And, if Brandon doesn’t cooperate, Lindsay’s legal eagles say she may sue him over the unquestionably-in-bad-taste comments he made. Time for the heir to clear the air…or his wallet.

A Wild Thing ready to sing.

With nothing left to divulge to the public about what went on behind closed doors during her marriage to Charlie Sheen, Denise Richards will join the Pussycat Dolls in a Blaze of Glory on stage at Pure nightclub in Las Vegas on Friday, June 9, says Extra. Denise’s appearance, with music courtesy of DJ AM, will mark the one-year anniversary of the Pussycat Dolls Lounge and undoubtedly help her keep her name in the press for at least another week.

The Wedding Singer.

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have asked American Idol’s Katharine McPhee to sing at their nuptials, says http://www.contactmusic.com/. Which shouldn’t be all that surprising, given the rumors that Katharine was, at one point, either a Scientologist herself or at least dating one (depends which version of the story you believe). It’s rumored that Katie met the singer at Los Angeles’ Church of Scientology and followed her progress in the American Idol competition week after week. After Katharine lost to Taylor Hicks last week, Tom and Katie reportedly, and on down low, contacted Kat and asked her to sing at their ceremony.

"Tom and Katie have become Katharine's biggest fans. They think she's destined to become a singing legend," a source close to the couple says. Probably so, if she actually gets to sing at the Cruise-Holmes affair… and certainly beats co-starring in a film like From Justin to Kelly.

All Out of Love.

Poor Jennifer Love Hewitt. First, Wilmer Valderamma bragged about their sexual escapades together, stories that she later denied. And now, in today’s New York Post Page Six, comes word that singer John Mayer bragged about bedding her, as well as a number of female fans, during a surprise performance with Bob Saget (yes, Full House’s Bob Saget) at Hollywood’s Laugh Factory. Who knew the man was comedian (although I suspect Love wasn’t laughing)? I might suggest, though, if he wants to continue being so fan friendly, it might help to keep his candy lips closed. With his most notable hits being Jennifer, Your Body Is a Wonderland and a creepy ode to all daddy’s girls called Daughters, girls may not be as quick to take all their "big plans and break ‘em" for someone who hasn’t released any new material since 2003…

With nothing but a t-shirt on.

The New York Daily News claims Jessica Simpson, feeling sorry for herself and clearly bitter about the public’s support of Nick Lachey in the wake of their split, was spotted buying several "Team Jessica" t-shirts from Kitson in Los Angeles on May 24.

"Jess saw the stack of 'Team Nick' T-shirts was much lower than hers," a source tattled to the Star Magazine. "Nick's T-shirts outsell hers 40 to 1. She said, 'I'm going to wear this.' … She was kind of sniffling, like she was going to cry."

But, alas, nothing a little retail therapy can’t cure. In addition to the "Team Jessica" tees, the singer picked up quite a bit of other merchandise, tallying up to a grand total of $10,000. And the cost for just the "Team Jessica" shirts? Priceless.

Fun with Jim and Jenny.

Ex-Playboy Playmate Jenny McCarthy, who in the past has opened her mouth on just about any thing, um, topic, kept it shut when it came to questions about her rumored relationship with comedian Jim Carrey during an appearance on Wednesday’s episode of The View. The SF Daily Dish (http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/sfgate/indexd?blogid=7) recounted Jenny’s attempts to avoid the probing questions coming from show hosts Star Jones and Joy Behar, who desperately tried to get Jenny to ‘fess up to her friendship with the funny man.

"No comment. Does that ever work? The funny thing is I've never said it in my whole life!" Jenny said. "Let’s move on to the next topic."

Jenny and Jim have reportedly been seeing each other since December, although neither will comment on the state of their relationship. At least she’s finally learned the meaning of tight-lipped.