Not the Zack Attack, but the Crack Attack.

Lisa Turtle is taking the law into her own hands.

TMZ.com (www.tmz.com) claims that Lark Voorhies, the actress who played the teenage shopaholic and fashionista on Saved by the Bell is suing the National Enquirer over a story they ran which outlined her supposed cocaine addiction, something both she and her doctor, Howard Askins, have vehemently denied. In her suit, Lark is asking for unspecified punitive damages, claiming the libelous article has had a negative impact on her career, causing "humiliation, embarrassment, hurt feelings, mental anguish, and suffering." For those of you who missed the June 2005 story, a source who claimed to be a pal of Lark’s said she had a "terrible drug problem" and was "bipolar."

When the Bell stopped ringing for Lark, she worked on Days of our Lives and the Bold and the Beautiful. She has also made appearances on UPN staples including Malcolm and Eddie, In the House and The Parkers. Lark’s most recent project is The Black Man’s Guide to Understanding Black Women, a movie adaptation that assumably doesn’t conflict with her religious beliefs, convictions so strong that back in the days of her soap opera past, she felt compelled to leave both roles, as she felt they compromised her faith in a higher power. Much like she must have felt in the days of SBTB, when she was constantly paired with Dustin Diamond.

Ready to have the time of your life?

We’ll see if anyone tries to put Baby in a corner when Women’s Entertainment network (or WE, as it’s better known) launches a new reality series based on the 1980s film Dirty Dancing. A report on www.tvguide.com says that the search will soon start for inexperienced female dancers who will be paired up with professional male partners to compete for a featured part on the soon-to-hit-stages musical version of the film.

"We want to stay pretty true to the movie," a producer working on the reality series told Variety. "So hopefully we'll see some sparks fly between these girls and their instructors."

No word on whether Patrick Swayze will be able to reprise his role. Or his moves if asked, given it’s been close to 20 years since the movie’s release.

A new duet.

Has Constantine conquered Kellie?

People Magazine seems to think so. Although she’s denied the rumor as recently as a few weeks ago, Constantine Maroulis wasn’t doing much to shoot it down when shopping at the L.F. boutique in Santa Monica, California. When asked by store staff if he needed any assistance, Constantine reportedly told them he was shopping for a "rock and roll look" for a "very special friend." He later ‘fessed up that his special friend was indeed this season’s American Idol finalist Kellie Pickler.

And what was the "rock and roll look" ultimately made up of? A black-and-white dress and a pair of lime green shoes with polka dots, which, upon spotting, Constantine said, "these are so her." Perfect for an evening meal of calamari and spinach salad.

American Alcoholic?

While there’s no doubt that Katharine McPhee’s inability to connect with the crowd, as well as to stop her father from sobbing, didn’t help her win American Idol, rumors have started to surface that there might have been more than met the eye as to why last year’s runner up Bo Bice was unable to snag the top spot himself back in the day. The Las Vegas Review Journal reports that in an interview with local radio station KXPT, members of the band Lynyrd Skynyrd revealed they spend the night prior to last season's finale partying with the contestant. And, according to Ricky Medlocke, a member of the band, Bo was certainly having himself a good, ol’ time.

"Got trashed in L.A. and damn near got alcohol poisoning," Medlocke told listeners of KXPT. "I tried to tell him, 'Ya know dude, this ain't going to work. We fly all the way across the country to play the finale with you, and you get trashed like that; that don't work with Lynyrd Skynyrd.'"

Maybe not, but Bo still got to sing Sweet Home Alabama with them on the finale the next night. Which was ironically followed by a series of unfortunate medical conditions that required Bo to leave the American Idols tour and cancel several planned appearances. Now Bo, does your conscience bother you? Tell the truth.

Another Blink-182 break up.

The New York Post Page Six is reporting that it may not be all happily-ever-after for inexplicable couple and Meet the Barkers stars Blink-182 drummer Travis Barker and his wife, former Miss USA/Playboy model Shanna Moakler. Shanna was hired by Pure nightclub in Las Vegas last week to be a VIP guest host (Kevin Federline must not have been available) when her husband showed up unexpectedly. A witness tells Page Six that Travis went up to her table and threw a drink at his wife. The reason for the rift between the bizarre twosome? The tabloid was told that the two are arguing about whether or not Shanna, mom to Atiana, Landon and Alabama (the latter two of which are Travis’), should stay home with the children or go back to work. Assuming, of course, she could actually get a job, which, if anyone saw her on Pacific Blue, would probably be a big if.

Consolation prize.

Second season American Idol finalist Trenyce (nee Lashundra Treniese Cobbins) may have gotten the boot from the show and an "off you go" after auditioning to take part in Simon Cowell’s new America’s Got Talent program, but that hasn’t stopped her from scoring big in Las Vegas. The Las Vegas Review Journal reports that Trenyce was the first singer hired to perform in David Saxe’s V Variety Show, performances of which are held at the Aladdin Hotel. And while she may not have the title of American Idol, Trenyce does now have the honor of the being the first of the AI contestants to headline a show on the infamous Las Vegas Strip. Note that season five contestant Becky O’Donohue's strip for Maxim magazine doesn’t count.

Laguna Beyotch.

Laguna Beach’s Kristin Cavallari, in an attempt to keep herself in the spotlight as the premiere date of rival LC’s new show The Hills approaches, is making her feelings for fellow MTV-reality star Jessica Simpson known.

"Kristin thinks Jessica's pathetic," a clearly close friend of Kristin’s tattled to the National Enquirer. "She says that Jessica is delusional for wearing her wedding band on a chain around her neck like she's in high school or something. She says that Nick is through with Jessica and she needs to realize that it's over and move on." Ohh, how eerie…does she give this advice to all people named Jessica (remember J Wahl)?

For those of you who might have blinked, Kristin was one of the many women Jessica’s ex, Nick Lachey, was reportedly seeing after the couple announced their plans to divorce. And while the supposed relationship only lasted a matter of weeks, their time together, albeit brief, seems to still mean quite a bit to Kristin.

"It was nothing more than a rebound romance for Nick. But Kristin fell hard for him," her friend reveals. "She obviously still has a soft spot for Nick and some bitter, unresolved feelings for Jessica."

You think? Not like Kristin hasn’t fallen for someone who’s not really available before (paging Stephen…or Talan). Time to Come Clean…

Seen at Coffee Bean.

Corey "I-Slept-With-Paul-Adbul…Really-I-Did" Clark mistakenly thought his participation in American Idol several seasons ago gave him enough of a reason to resurface last night at a Sunset Boulevard Coffee Bean, located close to where finalists Katharine McPhee and eventual winner Taylor Hicks were preparing to perform, according to www.tmz.com. Simply to enjoy an iced latte, you ask? We should only be so lucky. Corey sat outside the coffee house attempting to sell his self-titled Corey Clark CD, a rockin’ album that includes popular little ditties like Chance to Dance, Wiggle and Shake and, of course, the infamous ode to everyone’s favorite Idol judge, Paulatics (that Corey is just such the wordsmith). And this guerilla sales tactic is apparently not an unfamiliar one to Corey, often seen in the company of some straggly pals carting around boxes of CDs and posters of its cover in an attempt to jump-start his musical career. Sad, with a big S.

Don’t Cha wish your daughter didn’t want to be like me?

Me-OW!

A group of disgusted, angry mothers, under the guise of the Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood, along with do-gooder, somewhat spineless organization Dads and Daughters, has forced toy maker Hasbro to abandon their plans to release a line of dolls based on the popular, burlesque dance troop of the same name, says the New York Daily News. The Pussycat Doll figurines, modeled after the dancers/singers who prance around to Don’t Cha and Stick Wit U, were slated to be available in time for the holidays, retailing at approximately $15 each. And while getting your hands on your own Pussycat Doll seemed like a great idea to some, there were apparently several, many of whom were moms, for which this prospect wasn’t quite as exciting.

"Every single person I spoke to was shocked that this would even be considered," said Lisa Flythe, a mom of a 4-year-old daughter in Brooklyn, New York. "It could be an appropriate adult entertainment product, but definitely not for kids."

Flythe was one of the many who generated approximately 2,000 letters and e-mails in protest of the Pussycats, urging Hasbro to kill the concept and keep the litter away from her own broods. Under pressure from parents and faced with what looked to become a mighty messy catfight, Hasbro announced yesterday that the doll project is dead.

"Once the juggernaut starts rolling, it can be hard to stop it," Flythe said, seemingly pleased that her daughter no longer has freedom of choice. Barbie had no comment.

Stay Inn Nicky.

Nicky Hilton wants you to sleep in her bed.

Her hotel bed, that is. The New York Daily News is reporting that the designer/heiress is considering dressing rooms in the near future in addition to those who shop at Kitson in Beverly Hills. Nicky was recently spotted with promoter Ingrid Casares and interior decorator Faye Resnick in South Beach, discussing possible looks-and-feels for her own chain of boutique-hotels. Paul Fisher, Nicky’s manager, confirmed that Nicky is indeed checking in (and out) potential cities including Miami, Chicago and San Francisco. A location in Paris must be too hard to get into.

Hooray, hooray for Dr. Rey!

A story on www.tmz.com reveals that plastic surgeon Dr. Robert Rey, better known as E!’s Dr. 90210, was instrumental in pacifying an unruly passenger aboard American Airlines flight 427, en route to Los Angeles from Austin.

An elderly gentleman reportedly became disruptive as the plane began its descent, making a run for the main cabin and scuffling with a flight attendant who tried to stop him. Upon witnessing the mayhem, Dr. Rey, a karate connoisseur in addition to being a skilled, somewhat self-righteous surgeon, jumped into action and, with the help of a fellow passenger, was able to prevent the man from crashing the cabin. Together, the two took the 80-year-old man down. Yes, the 80-year-old man. When the plane landed, airport police escorted the man to Harbor General Hospital where he has been placed under psychiatric watch. A True Hollywood Story.

Model child.

Kenzie Dalton, child fiancée number two of Chad Michael Murray, was noticeably absent from last week’s CW press tour in New York City. While her co-stars, and fiancé’s ex-wife, thanked fans for their One Tree Hill support and looked relieved to be employed for another few months, Kenzie was having her picture taken for the September 2006 issue of CosmoGirl! magazine as part of their "So You Want To Be A Model" contest, says a report on One Tree Hill Web (http://www.onetreehillweb.net/). Kenzie is one of 12 finalists in the competition, the winner of which will be introduced to supermodel Niki Taylor and receive a $50,000 contract with New York Models/LA Model. Could come in pretty handy if CMM’s series doesn’t get renewed again….

Team BC.

LC’s little sister Breanna, star of the third season of Laguna Beach, has launched her own official website, http://breanna-conrad.com/, says MTV Reality World (http://www.mtvrealityworld.com/). But for those of you who haven’t had a chance to check it out yet, don’t worry – there’s not much to tell. Her bio page lets us know she was born on August 23, 1989 and that she has an older sister (duh) and a younger brother (who, knowing MTV, will probably be the focus for yet another upcoming season). She’s also posted some photos, in case when the show starts, we can’t follow the obsessive-MTV captioning/recognize who she is, and a link to big sis LC’s own site, probably the only part of her site anyone will truly be interested in. Dunzo.

Welcome to the jungle.

After years of getting beat down by the likes of Ralph Lauren, Donna Karan and Calvin Klein, designer Tommy Hilfiger has added a new, and rather unlikely, nemesis to his list – Guns ‘N Roses lead singer Axl Rose.

The New York Daily News reports that Tommy and Axl were both, oddly enough, at Plumm in New York City, the location where actress Rosario Dawson’s birthday party was being held. The scuffle started when Axl gently suggested that Tommy move his girlfriend Dee Ocleppo’s drink from where it was positioned on the bar so it wouldn’t spill on either Dee or Axl, who was scheduled to perform later that evening.

"She was sitting next to Tommy, and Axl may have jostled her a little. Tommy put his hand out, Axl grabbed Tommy's arm and pushed it hard, and Tommy came back with a fist," a source told the newspaper. Thus, a fight ensued. Tommy reportedly starting swinging, whereas Axl surprisingly remained calm, and security escorted the designer out of the bar shortly thereafter. Axl remained inside and later dedicated a song, You’re Crazy, to Tommy.

The Hilfiger camp declined to comment when asked about the incident. And it’s probably safe to say that like Tommy’s ego, the prices on Hilfiger merchandise have since been similarly cut down.

The Carter connection.

On June 12th, the Carter family – Nick, Aaron, Angel (Aaron’s twin), BJ and Leslie – will start filming E!’s new reality series, the appropriately named The Carter Family, says a blog posting on Angel’s myspace page (http://myspace.com/angelnalex). Which, oddly enough, is a myspace address shared with Laguna Beach’s Alex M. – who knew these two crazy kids were friends (and good enough ones to actually cohabitate on myspace)? Normally, I would consider this a brilliant, cross-promotional move, but given the poor design, layout and lack of readability on the site, there’s now way either E! or MTV would be behind it. That aside, Angel did have some news she felt was pretty important to post about what both gals have been up to these days (and, clearly, it has nothing to do with brushing up on the proper use of punctuation or capitalization):

heyy..... soo we know many of u guys have been wanting to know whats going with both us soo we just wanted to clear things up for ya soo everyone knows whats going on : ) first thing to clear up "the carter family" reality show ...its about nick aaron angel leslie and BJ...just us...it airs october 26th on the E! channel....we begin shooting june 12th and all through summer time ...expect to see my bestest alex on it a lot hahaha....its funny cause i dont think people really realize how long we have known eachother and what good friends we are!!...we r really fun girls that dance around to oldies and then alex goes through her stages where she MAKES me listen to her latino music and her reggae which is almost everyday hahahahaha....i guess now im kinda used to it!! but then again i taught her how to be ghetttoooofabbbullllouuussss hahahaa....and pretty much everything there is to hip hop music hahaahaha...also if u havent checked out already alex has her music myspace up at www.myspace.com/alexmmusic ... her album comes out august 16th and her single "best friend" actually goes to radio in about 3 weeks soo u guyss deff gotta help support !!!!!....thanks to everyone for all the love we LOVE YOU TOOOOOO xoxoxo : )angel and alex

Is Alex M. really this desperate to get the word out about her music that she allies herself with a Carter sibling? Wouldn’t her time be better spent finding someone to start/finish building www.alexmmusic.com? Or dropping by The Hills?

Revelation at the police station.

98 Degrees singer Jeff Timmons’ recent arrest in Florida has made him a hotter property than he’s been in years, especially when it comes to the police. A report on www.TMZ.com claims that the ex-boy bander, who was charged with driving under the influence and with a suspended license in Florida last month, has a prior DUI conviction on his record in the state of California. And this means if Florida authorities decide to convict Jeff, he’ll be in violation of his earlier probation, meaning he could be facing jail time in both states. Ouch. And what a damper this would put on his planned appearance at the July 26th Mid-California State Fair in Paso Robles. Bet he’s wishing he hadn’t whined about being the Invisible Man now…

Be Ashley’s Angel.

Just because season one of There and Back has wrapped and his album, Soundtrack to Your Life, has been released doesn’t mean there aren’t other ways you can support former O-Towner/now solo artist/father Ashley Parker Angel. A new plea on his website, www.ashleyparkerangel.com, is asking for (more of) your help, being all that you can be as part of the Ashley Parker Angel i-Squad.

And what exactly is the i-Squad, you might ask? A selective membership organization where the only thing you need to know is how to sign up online (for which Ashley has graciously provided a link). In return for your solemn vow, you’ll get exclusive news and information about Ashley, provided by his record label, Blackground-Universal. And, best of all, you’ll also earn Angel Tokens, reward chips earned for helping spread the word about Ashley and his music that are redeemable for what Ashley himself calls "unique prizes." What do you think the likelihood of a classic, autographed O-Town CD is? Or other leftovers from his ghetto garage sale?

I got a pocket full of quarters, and I'm headed to the arcade.

Want to help American Idol’s Taylor Hicks eat away at what remains of his competition, even though this week’s voting is complete? Try your hand at Taylor Hicks PacMan (http://www.taylorhickspacman.com/).

Developed by one of Taylor’s dedicated Soul Patrol fans, according to www.tmz.com, the classic video game has been updated to emulate the obstacles PacMan, er, Taylor faces as he tries to navigate his way to becoming your next American Idol. Under your guidance, you must help Taylor collect as many "votes" as possible while, at the same time, steering clear of other, threatening contestants including Paris Bennett, Chris Daughtry, Katharine McPhee and Elliott Yamin. Need help keeping Taylor safe for another week? Run to host Ryan Seacrest for temporary star power and immunity. Hey, it’s the only way in this game to avoid a Hemorrhage at the hands of Chris.

Scientology smackdown.

Lindsay Lohan has no fan in ex-boyfriend Wilmer Valderamma’s pal and That 70s Show co-star Danny Masterson.

A story on www.entertainmentwise.com alleges that Lindsay was recently denied entry into a party that Danny was hosting at the night club Guy in Los Angeles. And while this might come as a surprise, it’s important to remember that Lindsay is only 19 years old, a few years shy of the legal age to drink and to enter many such establishments. Upon being told she wasn’t welcome, Lindsay reportedly telephoned Wilmer, who attempted to help sweet-talk her way in, but luck just wasn’t on her side – Danny, a committed Scientologist, and apparently also immune to what some people seem to find appealing in the trashy post-teenage actress, wouldn’t budge, claiming he doesn’t agree with Lindsay’s lifestyle and therefore could not allow her admittance to his seemingly sacred fiesta. After fuming for fans outside, and threatening to call the authorities for back up, Lindsay must have remembered she’s underage and eventually left. L. Ron, in. Lindsay, out.

Tree time.

Looks like poor Sophia Bush will need to wait a little longer than anticipated to eliminate her soon-to-be-officially-ex-husband Chad Michael Murray from her life. After weeks of uncertainty, the Hollywood Reporter has confirmed that the CW network will bring One Tree Hill back for a fourth season. No word on whether there are plans to expand the role of "cheerleader" for CMM’s future fiancée Kenzie Dalton, nor whether they’ll follow through on what seemed to be a deadly ending for annoying, useless Rachel, but one thing’s for sure – another season of the infamous "Pukas" (Peyton/Lucas/Brooke) triangle. Because apparently there are no other available singles in Tree Hill now that Nathan and Haley are married and Jake has run off. Makes Mouth start looking pretty good…

Fez-zy memories.

Sweet as Candy Mandy Moore is refuting reports that slimy That 70s Show star Wilmer Valderamma took her virginity, says www.contactmusic.com. Wilmer bragged of the conquest, as well as others involving Lindsay Lohan and Jennifer Love Hewitt (albeit not at the same time), during an appearance on Howard Stern’s radio show last month. And while Mandy has avoided addressing Wilmer’s assertion over the last few weeks, she is speaking up now, saying that Wilmer’s tale is, "utterly tacky, not even true, and it hurt my feelings because I like him."

And she’s not the only one. Jennifer Love Hewitt also scoffs at what Wilmer reported happened between the two of them, claiming, "I was told that we had all these very steamy encounters and I was like, 'Really! Well, I would have loved to have been there!'" Perhaps it’s something the Ghost Whisperer can fill her in on.

No recount required.

A full week after American Idol contestant Chris Daughtry was voted off and his fans still won’t let it go.

One of Chris’ fan web sites, www.TheDaughtryGang.com, is disseminating a petition, demanding a recount of the votes that sent Chris packing, reports the Los Angeles Times. And they’ve gotten off to a fairly robust start, collecting over 30,000 signatures of Daughtry devotees on their online appeal, posted on www.ThePetitionSite.com. Those who have signed believe that the vote totals announced on the show were incorrect and are insisting that Chris return to the AI stage to continue in the competition.

But, even with the support of his fanatics, it’s not looking like Chris will be back for an encore performance.

"While acknowledging that dedicated fans may be unhappy with the outcome, the system only reports the decision of the voting public," a representative for the Fox Network said. "As we have said before, you can't take votes for granted on this show." Nor clearly ignore a widespread case of McPheever.

Jake on the make.

Clearly craving the attention he used to get back in the hey day of Road Rules, season four cast member Jake Bronstein has unnecessarily announced his plans to travel cross country with two of his pals for the summer, says a report on www.realworldroadrules.blogspot.com. The group planned to leave New York this past weekend and decided to put the word out in hopes some non-creepy strangers would be willing to put him and his pals up along the way.

"Nothing fancy," Jake has said. "A couch, a bed, whatever, we're just trying to take our time, see as much of the country as possible and, well, spend as little cash possible." Sort a Road Rules Revisited, if you ask me…

Those who are actually interested in housing Jake and his friends should send their information to him at jakecancrashatmyhouse@gmail.com. And, per Jake’s request, don’t forget to include a photo. Only serious, non-scary people need apply. Right.

The K-Fed fan club.

Shar Jackson, pitifully anxious to keep her name in the spotlight, is weighing in on Britney Spears’ recent announcement regarding her second pregnancy with Shar’s ex Kevin Federline and his skills as a father.

"He's an amazing dad," Shar told People Magazine. "Like when Kori was first born, her whole first year and a half, he was there. I mean, he wouldn't leave her side. He's a good guy, and when he's not with (his kids), it hurts his heart that he misses them so much."

That’s funny…isn’t this the same man who up and left a pregnant Shar, when she was literally weeks away from giving birth to Kal, his second child, to travel around the world with Britney and her Onyx Hotel Tour? I don’t quite remember Shar giving him quite so glowing an endorsement when she gave birth alone and he announced his engagement to Brit.

"He's a goofy guy," Shar said describing Kevin’s interaction with his children. "He loves to play with them. He's swimming with them and chasing 'em and singing songs."

Well, they are only children, not clever or savvy enough to distinguish good music from bad, nor how to innocuously extract themselves from a situation in which they’re forced to listen to their father’s incoherent rapping. Too bad the rest of us can’t be as fortunate.

Mama said, Mama said.

Dina Lohan has decided it’s time for her to share something with the public other than her embarrassing marriage and awe at daughter Lindsay’s weight loss/rumored experimental drug use – she’s writing a book of instruction and guidance for other show biz parents, says the Star Magazine.

"I get so much mail each week from people asking me for advice. They ask me how I did it, they ask me how to find a good agent. I get hundreds of questions each week, so I just figured, instead of answering every question, I'll put it in a book and help people," Dina says in an interview with the tabloid.

Just what I’m sure every mother needs – advice from a woman widely considered as just a big a partier as her daughter, in the midst of a horrifically scandalous divorce and the subject of a lawsuit brought on by producers for whom she recruited to help make her daughter a star. How could anyone possibly go wrong following the recommendations of a momager with such a sparkling track record?

"It's basically how to manage and how this all happened. It's about avoiding pitfalls. It's really to help other people. I learned something and I want to share it. And people want to know."

And she’s doing a great job at that "managing" part. Wasn’t it just last week that Lindsay made an appearance on the Today show looking bedraggled and hung over while doing press for Just My Luck? Which, coincidentally enough, took place after a misstep from the shower supposedly caused her to slip and fracture her foot. And that injury, combined with all the dehydration from her underage drinking, must really be putting a damper on how quickly she can chase after rumored, older beaus Stavros Niarchos and Jamie Burke. Thank goodness Lindsay has her mother Dina as a model when it comes to handling these sticky situations.

There is no friendship, nor is there a potion, that is as strong as a mother's love & devotion. Or so Dina probably thinks.

Ace’s hardware.

Just because American Idol’s Ace Young was voted off early doesn’t mean he’s done showing off.

A report on www.biggeststars.com claims that Ace has been approached by Playgirl magazine. He’s been offered $100,000 to bare all in an upcoming issue. An insider who tipped off In Touch Weekly claims that Playgirl approached the singer just days after Ace got his walking papers from Idol.

Alas, though, Ace was forced to turn the offer down. The contract that American Idol participants are required to sign includes something called a "morals clause" that prevents opportunities like Playgirl from ever arising. But that doesn’t mean Ace won’t grace the page someday – his contract expires at the conclusion of the Idols Live 2006 Summer Tour, meaning we could still get a glimpse of his winning hand after all.

Who nose?

Incorrectly assuming that in addition to being tone-deaf, her fans are also blind, Ashlee Simpson is being inexplicably coy when questioned about her recent, fairly obvious rhinoplasty.

"Maybe — who knows!" Ashlee told the Associated Press in an interview earlier this week when asked about it outright. "Everybody’s already saying it, so I just don’t talk about it. I’m like, OK, whatever. It doesn’t bother me."

What doesn’t bother you? The publicity your new nose is generating or the bump that no longer exists there? The comment really could apply to both, but regardless, the timing couldn’t be better as Ashlee is getting ready to start touring to support her I Am Me album. Guess she’s just not as comfortable in this skin as Jessica.

Win, place, show.

Nick Lachey may be in the midst of a divorce, and endlessly whining about the shape it’s left him in, but that doesn’t seem to be discouraging once-rumored paramour Lizzie Arnold. The buxom former Miss Kentucky, who was seen cavorting with Nick earlier this year, was reportedly throwing herself at him from the Crown Royal Playboy party held the night of the Kentucky Derby, says the New York Daily News.

"Lizzie kept calling Nick from the Playboy party. Lizzie starts calling and texting him. She's leaving loud messages saying, 'I got my t*%s and my nose done for you!’ ...I guess she was mad at Nick. She was like 'I am hot. Why won't you get with me?' But he wasn't responding," a spy tattled to the newspaper.

But Lizzie’s manager Dora Whitaker denies the tale took place, claiming, "Lizzie was with her dad the whole night, and she says it is absolutely false." Nick’s representatives did not reply to messages left about the story, but it’s safe to assume that he didn’t want to spend another day stuck in the shadow of his mistakes…

CaCee-ya!

Both Us Weekly and Dlisted (www.dlisted.blogspot.com) are reporting that Jessica Simpson has recently undergone yet another break up, this time with childhood pal and personal assistant CaCee Cobb. CaCee’s last day on the job as part of Jessica’s unnecessary entourage was May 7.

"You are my best friend. I will be your best friend forever," Jess reportedly told CaCee at a last-day bash held at Arnie Morton’s Steakhouse in Los Angeles. Awwh, how sweet. Too bad the sentiment didn’t linger longer, as creepy Ken Paves seems to have slid right into the role of Jessica's permanent shadow, barely vacated by CaCee herself. And what will CaCee be doing now that she’s freed herself from the clutches of the Simpson family? Maybe Nick is hiring.

Not quite well done.

Desperate to try and re-capture the glory that was the original Road Rules, MTV has repackaged the concept and will premiere it for our viewing pleasure on Monday, May 29. But instead of selecting seven distinctive and obnoxious personalities and shoving them in an RV, they’ll pair twelve of their most notorious cast members with twelve unknowns in what they’re now calling the Real World/Road Rules Challenge: Fresh Meat. And while MTV has yet to reveal whom will be paired with whom, they have revealed the participants from previous seasons:

Coral from Back to New York
Danny from Austin
Melinda from Austin
Johanna from Austin
Wes from Austin
Darrell from Campus Crawl
Shane from Campus Crawl
Derrick from Extreme
Katie from the Quest
Theo from Maximum Velocity
Tina from South Pacific
Tonya from Chicago

What? Were the Miz and Trashelle not available? With the exception of the always-entertaining Theo and trainwreck Tonya, this is looking like a pretty sad group (Katie? Again? Why?). And does the cast from Austin not realize that they no longer need to work together, live together and have their lives taped?

Oh baby, baby.

After weeks of speculation, Britney Spears has finally confirmed that yes, she is indeed pregnant with another spawn of Kevin Federline (for those keeping track, this child will be the 28-year-old’s fourth...that we know of, that is). Britney’s public declaration was made during a surprise stop at the Late Night with David Letterman show earlier today and will be shown this evening. The baby is reportedly due in October, just a few weeks after sibling Sean Preston will turn one and hopefully months after Britney comes to her senses and kicks K-Fed to the curb.

Prom-hibited.

In a scene that could have been scripted for an actual episode of One Tree Hill, cradle-robber and series star Chad Michael Murray was banned from fiancée Kenzie Dalton’s high school prom, says a report on One Tree Hill Web (http://www.onetreehillweb.net/). The policy at John T. Hoggard High School in Wilmington, North Carolina, from where Kenzie is about to graduate, does not allow any one over the age of 20 to attend such school functions. Chad, despite his childish behavior, is 24 years old.

"Even though a person can request to attend via a written letter to the administration, Chad was told that he was not allowed to go," a source tattled to In Touch Weekly. Kenzie ended up attending the event on her own.

But just because he didn’t get to go to the actual dance doesn’t mean Chad wasn’t part of the festivities. On April 22, he threw post-prom party for Kenzie and her pals, where he also gifted her with a new Mercedes-Benz. Wonder if it came from Scott Motors.

Sour note.

In the midst of Lindsay Lohan’s current promotional tour to showcase her Just My Luck movie comes news that her mom Dina could use some luck of her own. A report in the Las Vegas Review Journal claims that Dina's being sued for fraud by Antonio Almeida and Mitchell Chait, music producers with whom Lindsay worked back in 2002 before Dina negotiated a newer, different deal on Lindsay’s behalf with Tommy Mottola’s label Casablanca Records. The lawsuit says that Almeida and Chait loaned thousands of dollars to Dina to finance Lindsay’s album, only to have her ultimately release her more successful, well-known records on her new label. They are seeking retribution for their investment, much like many of Lindsay’s father’s associates are for their part in his shady dealings. Perhaps a more appropriate title for her next movie would be Chapter 7 instead of Chapter 27?

House call.

Mark your calendars for Thursday, July 6 when CBS will debut Big Brother 7: All-Stars, says www.realitytvworld.com. As it has in the past, the mind-numbing reality series will air three times a week, on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday, in addition to allowing viewers to subscribe to its live Internet feed. In the weeks to come, CBS will select a total of twenty previous houseguests from the past six seasons before allowing viewers to vote on whom they would like to see move in to this summer’s share. The winner will pocket a grand prize of $500,000, a portion of which we can only assume will be put toward therapy when the show is over.

Big losers.

Despite rumors weeks ago to the contrary, it appears that Corey Haim will not be able to tear himself away from his burgeoning D-list movie career and recreational drug/alcohol use to participate in the fourth season of VH1’s Celebrity Fit Club. Premiering in August, this year’s losers include:

Carnie Wilson, one-third of pop group Wilson-Phillips
Vinnie Pastore, actor from The Sopranos
Angie Stone, R&B singer
Nick Turturro, cast member on NYPD Blue from 1993 to 2000
Erika Eleniak, former Playboy model and Baywatch lifeguard
Bonecrusher, rapper whom I’ve never heard of
Tina Yothers, Alex and Mallory’s homely little sister on Family Ties
Ted Lange, Isaac the bartender from The Love Boat

A quick fix all around.

He’s a smoker, a joker, and now a confirmed midnight toker. The Star Magazine is reporting that prematurely-gray American Idol contestant Taylor Hicks spent some time in an Alabama jail cell after being arrested for marijuana possession back in his college days.

Which probably comes as no real surprise to anyone. Taylor was 21 years old and attending Auburn University when the incident took place. He was stopped by a state trooper for a traffic violation, a charge that escalated to a more serious level when the officer smelled marijuana coming from the car. Upon investigation, the trooper found a pipe in the glove compartment and, after a more detailed search, the drug itself both near the passenger seat and in a backpack inside the car. Taylor was charged with misdemeanor counts of both possession of marijuana and related paraphernalia and was brought to the Macon County Jail. He was released later that afternoon after posting a $500 bond. While Taylor was required to appear in court, the charges against him were ultimately dismissed for "want of prosecution" and his record remained untouched. Just like Justin Guarini’s debut album.

Truly, Madly, Deeply Abhor-y.

With a title worthy of its own Lifetime movie, Mary Jo Eustace, soon-to-be-ex-wife of Dean McDermott, is shopping around a true-life tale she’s calling My Husband Left Me for Tori Spelling. In light of the very public bliss that Dean and Tori have been sharing in the spotlight, the seemingly-bitter, almost-divorcee has decided it’s time for the public to hear her side of the story, says Page Six of the New York Post. It goes something like this:

Beginning: Dean and Mary Jo, married for 12 years and parents of a son, adopt a baby girl named Lola.

Middle: Dean leaves the home he shares with his family to co-star with Tori in the Lifetime made-for-television movie Mind Over Murder.

End: Dean returns home when filming is complete, announces he’s slept with the alter-ego of Donna Martin and tells his wife he is leaving her to be with his new squeeze.

"We're soul mates. She loves me unconditionally . . . I don't love you any more. And I don't respect you. I haven't for a very long time," Dean told Mary Jo, according to her recollection of events, in the "end" stage.

While there have been no takers on the tawdry tale yet, news of its existence has reached Dean and Tori, who are, needless to say, a bit disturbed about Mary Jo’s own proposal.

"This is the first we've heard of [the book proposal]. It's opportunistic and undignified that she would want to exploit her former marriage for monetary gain. We only wish her the very best," the new couple said in a joint statement. So ab-HOR-ious!

A few less Pieces of Me.

The National Enquirer is reporting that Ashlee Simpson recently underwent a hush-hush rhinoplasty procedure to have that pesky bump removed from her nose.

"Ashlee's thrilled with the results," a "friend" of hers told the tabloid. "She basically had the bump on her nose shaved down. Although she has always been cute, she's felt like the ugly duckling of the family compared to Jess." Um, you think so? She’s been whining about that since the release of her song Shadow from her first album, where she complains she’s "always second best" (a generous ranking, by the way, if you ask me).

"Every time she saw a photo or looked in a mirror, Ashlee felt there was one chief flaw glaring back at her: too prominent a nose. And she decided to do something about it."

The procedure was performed by Dr. 90210 plastic surgeon Dr. Raj Kanodia on April 21. No word on whether Ashlee’s choice of surgeon got Dr. Rey’s nose out of joint.

Weight watcher.

Katie, er, Kate Holmes’s father is weighing in on her plans to quickly shed her post-pregnancy baby weight in preparation for her upcoming wedding to Tom Cruise. A report on SF Gate Daily Dish (http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/sfgate/indexd?blogid=7) claims that Martin Holmes is worried Katie/Kate is pushing herself too hard to get into shape under a fitness regime overseen by Tom Cruise.

"My daughter needs rest, relaxation and recuperation. Katie is already doing exercises to build up her back and shoulders and I simply can't go along with what is happening," Mr. Holmes reportedly told Reveal Magazine. Katie/Kate and Tom’s daughter Suri was born on April 18.

But Sue Fleming, the owner of Buff Brides, the company hired to help Katie shape up, doesn’t think Mr. Holmes’ concerns are warranted.

"Katie can and will do it. She has great motivation. She loves her fiancé and was proud that Tom oversaw this program. He told her he wanted her to be the most beautiful bride ever. She was in tears when he said that," Fleming said. Right—because it’d be pretty risky business for the future Mrs. Cruise to work on building up her common sense when she can instead work on her shoulders and arms…

The J. Lo show.

Actress-singer-dancer Jennifer Lopez, who until recently has shied away from the spotlight, is currently in talks with MTV to headline her own reality show, says the Star Magazine. The series, tentatively titled Move, would follow J. Lo’s real life, as well as the dancers she would mentor onscreen.

"They were looking at old test tapes of her and got some new ideas for a show," a source tells the Star. "It is very early in the development of the show and anything could happen at this point." Like Gigli 2?

Touchdown.

Paris Hilton may have literally just broken up with Stavros Niarchos, but she hasn’t wasted any time drafting her next selection—former USC star and Arizona Cardinals rookie quarterback Matt Leinhart, www.tmz.com reports. Despite Paris’s attempt to mask her identity with a brunette wig, the two were spotted shopping together at the Grove in Los Angeles, then attended a party at the same location that evening, although they came and went in separate cars, a weak attempt to mislead the paparazzi. The sightings of the new couple came literally hours after Paris’s representative refused to deny a report that she was no longer dating Stavros, thus confirming the pair had split. Poker face.

Bewitched, bothered and bewildered.

American Idol’s Kellie Pickler and her father, Clyde, finally have something in common – they’re both going home.

People Magazine reports that just a week after Kellie became the most recent Idol castoff, her father became the most recent free man from the Florida State Prison. On Monday, Clyde was released from the facility where he had been serving a three-year sentence for stabbing a neighbor in his trailer park community approximately three years ago. Kinda sheds a whole different light on Kellie’s performance of Bohemian Rhapsody, doesn’t it?

"That's her daddy, and he's always been sweet to her," Kellie's one-time stepfather, Brent Miller, commented to the New York Post when asked about Kellie’s anticipated reaction to the news of her father’s release. "Even when he was in jail, he'd always call to see 'How's my girl doing?'"

How endearing. But the father-daughter reunion may need to wait for a callback, as Kellie will be spending the next few weeks making post-Idol appearances, recording the obligatory post-Idol album and participating in the American Idols Live Tour 2006. Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?

Abracadabra.

Jessica Simpson may be immune to the controlling powers of her father Joe, but will her mind be able to resist the lure of a magic spell? We’ll find out when she participates (undoubtedly at the mercy of said father) in magician and illusionist Keith Barry’s upcoming CBS special, says www.mtv.com. Airing on May 12, Keith Barry: Extraordinary will feature Jess, along with other stars including Eve, Wilmer Valderrama and Nicole Scherzinger, in a series of spectacles for the amusement of the viewing audience. And no, to answer your inevitable question in advance, Barry cannot make her disappear.

Lindsay’s last stand.

According to a report in Page Six of the New York Post, Lindsay Lohan continued her embarrassing pursuit of significantly-older director Brett Ratner last week, dragging a pal with her when she dropped by his home unannounced. But instead of finding him alone and pining for her company, she walked in on Brett and his, apparently unbeknownst to Lindsay, girlfriend, model Alina Puscau.

"Brett never told Lindsay he had a girlfriend. She had no idea," Page Six’s source said. "He is constantly e-mailing, texting and calling her. She just wanted to hang out. He had given her the code to his house and told her to come over anytime, so she went."

And in typical Mean Girl fashion, a war of words ensued shortly after Lindsay’s discovery.

"Lindsay said she could get Alina deported and left. What she doesn't know is that Alina and Brett are so serious, he gave her a big diamond promise ring last November which she wears on her right hand. She doesn't care that he may cheat. She's got the big diamond ring."

Despite the drama, Lindsay and Brett put their performance skills to work the evening following the incident at a Victoria’s Secret party held at his home. Which really isn’t all that surprising—when has there ever been a time when you’ve heard of Lindsay turning down the opportunity to party?

"Lindsay has a long relationship with Victoria's Secret," the tabloid was told. "Of course she was going to support them." Which makes sense. After all, they’ve been supporting her for years.

Devil inside.

A report on http://www.biggeststars.com/ claims that Johnny Depp, known for his quirky roles in Ed Wood, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas and Pirates of the Carribean, will play Michael Hutchence, deceased lead singer of the band INXS, in a new biographical film about his life. Other actors rumored to be part of the feature include Naomi Watts, Sienna Miller, Rachel Griffiths and Eric Bana. It will be filmed in Australia, where Hutchence was born, and is tentatively titled Slide Away, the name of a song that he recorded with Bono on his self-titled solo album. Where two worlds collided.