Katie cum laude?

Not in the near future. TMZ.com is reporting that years after being accepted, and deferring her admission, to Columbia University in New York, Katie Holmes has finally broken the news to her father that she doesn’t plan to attend. Duh.

Columbia accepted Katie back in 1998, the same year as Dawson’s Creek premiered. To ensure her spot while she worked on the series, Katie’s father put down a $500 non-refundable deposit. Thus, if the show went up the creek without a paddle, Katie would at least be able to pursue a degree at a fine educational institution. But last week, after when it became clear Katie’s days as a non-collegian were a foregone conclusion, her father contacted Columbia’s admissions office, advised them of Katie’s change in plans (in case they hadn’t caught wind of what she’s been up to lately) and requested a refund for his deposit. Of $500. Yes, from almost 10 years ago.

Representatives from Columbia also expressed disbelief at Mr. Holmes’ request, telling TMZ, “What does he not understand about the word ‘non-refundable’?” Probably the same thing I didn’t when I asked movie theater employees to refund my money after paying to see Katie in the movie First Daughter...