Baby, I Would.

“Your life is a flashback,” Ashley Parker Angel sings in the opening of the premiere episode of There and Back: Ashley Parker Angel. And what an entertaining one it was! For those of you who missed the first episode, I’ve provided a handy-dandy recap:

“Am I drinking by myself?” Scarlet, Tiffany’s mom, questions as Ashley walks through the door after a seemingly long day of pounding the pavement looking for a manager. Um, probably, given up until a minute ago, Ashley wasn’t home and Tiffany is pregnant. Quite the role model these two crazy kids seem to have for their unborn child who, a few minutes later, after Ashley says his old O-Town lawyer is considering managing him, says, “I think we should celebrate!” They head to a bar called the Lighthouse. In what seems to be the middle of the day, given how sunny it is outside.

“I never in a million years would have thought that I’d be having the O-Town guy’s baby,” Tiffany claims after placing an order for some French fries (good to know this baby will be healthy). She continues on to say, “I don’t like boy bands in general. I think they’re corny. I mean, dancing around, all together. When I saw the Liquid Dreams video, I was in just total, utter disgust.” Way to be supportive. They leave the bar, after Tiffany’s healthy meal, and Ashley heads to the studio.

And here’s where the crafty camera work kicks in. Ashley sings, he and his producers Soul (yes, I said Soul) and Karlin listen to the playback. And then, in the middle of listening, everything freezes except Ashley, who leans over to talk to the audience. He says “Here’s the deal. It’s not like every producer in town is dying to make a record with me.” Maybe Tiffany was on to something. Ashley whines that they’ve been at this for a year and a half and he just has to get some cash. Funny - I thought it was about the music.

Cut to the next scene, where Ashley is meeting with Larry Rudolph, his lawyer from the O-Town days who is about to become Ashley’s manager. His manager? Good God, this man has totally taken a tumble from managing Britney back in the day – his reputation really must have suffered if Ashley is part of his portfolio now. Larry tells Ashley that out of the twelve tracks he’s cut, he’s got one hit and the rest are just “sort of real good, but not great.” Ironically, sort of like Larry’s current client base.

Ashley and Tiffany head to San Diego to visit former O-Town bandmate Jacob and wife Janie. Who seems to have managed to invest at least some of his O-Town cash, as he’s actually got a house! The fun camera trick returns, where the background freezes and Ashley speaks directly to us, claiming “Can you believe this is Jacob from O-Town? We’ve been through so much together. I really miss hanging out with him.” Perhaps because he has a legitimate roof over his head? But Ashley shouldn’t be too jealous, because Jacob later reveals, “I’ve been doing construction. I like construction and I wish I was able to do it for fun, not because I have to.” Seems his dreams were also liquid.

The next day, after being woken up by Ashley’s strangely-ringing cell phone, he and Tiffany discuss potential baby names. Tiffany proclaims that is has to be “something cool” and “you have to think when it’s older, it’s gonna sound hot.” Ashley tells her that growing up with the name Ashley was not fun for him. After suggesting Magical Merlin. And sharing that in fifth grade, he tried too change his name to Matrix.

Tiffany searches for places for them to live on the web. She and Ashley are both wistful looking at a two-story house, to which Ashley exclaims “upstairs, downstairs.” What a smarty-pants - thanks for the clarification there. Tiffany comments that they’ll never be able to afford a house unless they put some significant cash down, to which Ashley says “Do you think I should sell my Camero?” Your Camero? Who still drives a Camero? And where will this baby sit in the Camero? Shortly after this discussion, they receive word that they have indeed been approved to purchase the house they were looking at, provided they can produce the required cashier’s check for $8,000. Uh oh….

“We have to have a serious conversation about how we’re going to come up with $8,000. I am not making income right now, so I have to do something.” How noble. And observant. And while it’s great to think about this now, as you look for a house, did this thought not cross your mind when you found out that your girlfriend was pregnant? Tiffany suggests maybe borrowing money from somebody, but Ashley doesn’t want to be in debt to anyone. They discuss potential careers for Ashley, ranging from accountant (because he’s so good with cash) to delivery driver. He later visits Tour Supply, Inc. to apply for a job working with equipment for musicians and bands at various venues. Ashley’s disappointed to learn that the job only pays about $10 an hour and would only be for about 10 hours a week.

With the Tour Supply job not an option, Ashley and manager Larry visit Blackground Records to meet with President/CEO Barry Hankerson. He’s about to ask him for the $8,000 he needs for his house. But first, Ashley gets an opportunity to whine about the difficulties he’s experiencing with Soul Power Productions and how they aren’t making it really possible for Ashley to make the record he wants to make. Which he does pretty effectively, prompting Barry to pick up the phone and mumble to Soul Power that he wants them to give Ashley a chance. But not in a fatherly, supportive way, but more in a Godfather-esque way. Barry then claims, “When you’re down with us, we’ve got your back,” handing Ashley a check. Talk about making a deal with the devil.

The show ends with Ashley and Tiffany celebrating their two-year anniversary with a picnic on the beach. And, of course, the obligatory song by Ashley, a preview of what’s to come. “I’m so glad that you’re gonna be my baby’s mama,” Ashley croons. Where’s Tiffany’s mom, now that it’s time to celebrate?