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Have you ever worked a seasonal retail job? Not a part-time retail job, where you know you’ll be there on an ongoing basis, need to maintain a façade of genuine interest and butter up the right people so you’ll be scheduled for the good shifts. I’m talking about those temporary retail jobs that only come around once a year, right around the time that Santa heads to town.

I’ve been there. And done that. Twice, actually. And, from a temporary seasonal employee to all the retail managers out there, I have a bit of advice.

Don’t fool yourself - seasonal workers don’t care about store goals. I can’t tell you how many times I listened to a manager tell me about the importance of exceeding last year’s sales by a minimum of 10%, what last-minute add-on items I should push at the end of a sale or how it was important that “our” store out-sell all the other locations of “our” same store in the immediate area. Seasonal workers care about no more than two things – (1) how much of a discount they’ll get, and/or (2) how much they get paid an hour. Anything else is just a waste of your time and energy.

Don’t expect a seasonal worker to learn about the merchandise. Seriously. Even a little bit about the merchandise. Is it sterling silver and need to be polished? Will this get damaged in the dishwasher? Does that come in mahogany? It’s all irrelevant to the seasonal staff member. We’ll say whatever sounds right at the time and not give it a second thought. After all, we won't be working there anymore when the customer comes back to the store to make a complaint or to return the item.

Don’t think a seasonal worker will ever be enthusiastic. Because there’s really no reason to be. We’re there because, again, we need the discount and/or the cash, not because we have a burning desire to sell glassware, picture frames or custom sofas. Spending your weekend nights working past midnight, restocking drapery rods or counting thousands of linen napkins for inventory purposes won’t get us excited. Nor will the new “quick-ship” program that “we want all of our customers to know about” or the latest holiday CD that’s been playing on repeat for the last 8 hours.

With those suggestions in mind, I’d suggest those professionals looking for seasonal help now revise any job postings to read more like the following example:

** Insert store name here ** seeks warm body to look authoritative, act knowledgeable and feign interest in products and people. Must be able to walk, talk, smile and nod in agreement when appropriate. You probably won’t have fun, meet interesting people or gain new skills, but you will get a cash prize for your time and tolerance every two weeks.