The Parent’s Trap.

Dina Lohan, the ex-Rockette responsible for unleashing Lindsay on the world, is preparing to launch her own talk show, reveals the Star Magazine (must have been a slow week in the world of celebrity gossip for the publication).

"I have a talk show in the works," Dina confirmed to the tabloid. "It’s more of an Apprentice-y, show-y thing. I would host it and co-produce it. It’s a good heartwarming show. It’s nothing trashy. We’re not going to follow dates to bars and see what happens, or anything like that. But it’s a girl-empowered, woman show. I would only do something that would help other people, because that’s just who I am and how I was raised."

Huh? A feel-good, pro-woman talk show that follows the style of Donald Trump’s The Apprentice? With such an, um, intriguing format, it’s no wonder that no network has snatched this little gem up quite yet.

"I love to talk," Dina tells the Star. "Lindsay’s friends call me ‘The White Oprah’ because they all come to me with their problems. I’m like the mom of these kids in the business!"

And what a great job she's doing, choosing to look the other way when her eldest child is hospitalized for at least the third time in recent years and yelling back at studio executives who called Lindsay out on her unprofessional off-screen antics. Take this for just what it is.